No Type
by kerrymarisas
Summary: Olivia Pope is the unattainable girl at her prep school. She keeps to herself and thwarts all male interest, that is until Fitzgerald Grant, the school's new transfer takes an interest in her. For a girl who says she doesn't have a type, Olivia sure seems to be falling for Fitz!
1. Challenges and Tattoos

"Stop looking at him!" Olivia Pope squealed, swatting her best friend, Abby's arm. "He's going to see you!" Abby sat back down in her chair, leaning into Olivia's ear.

"That's the point, Olivia! He's hot. I want him to see me." Abby loosened the already loose top three buttons of her regulation white collared button up and adjusted her powder gray sweater vest- also regulation.

Olivia shook her head as she turned a page of her History textbook, taking notes for their presentation that afternoon. Abby had been semi-focused before a boy's class came into the library. Of course Abby had to take the appropriate time to ogle each of them, until her eyes swept onto the brand new transfer and resident bad-boy- Fitzgerald Grant III.

"Do you think he's got money? He looks like that rugged, angry at Daddy rebellious type." Abby observed, biting her lip.

Olivia finished her margin note and set her pen down.

"Of course he's got money. Everyone here has a little money. And that's just what we need at this school; another spoiled, sad, entitled rich boy." Abby raised an eyebrow, turning around and taking her pencil back in her hands.

"Since when has the topic of boys pissed you off so much? I thought you just had a great date with Jake over the weekend."

Olivia shrugged noncommittally; the truth was, Abby had set her up with her cousin's best friend. Jake wasn't bad looking, but he lacked personality, and only wanted to talk about superficial topics. Olivia was bored their entire date, through the dinner, movie and the uncomfortable parking of Jake's car outside of her house. Olivia wasn't a bitch, but she also wasn't one to pretend that she liked someone, when she knew she didn't. She couldn't hide her displeasure as Jake, clearly feeling a moment exclusive to his own mind, leaned over and tried to kiss her. Of course Olivia moved her mouth in the nick of time, and his kiss landed on the edge of her face.

"Well, bye Jacob." Olivia had said, her annoyance trickling into her voice, as she pushed the door open.

"Wait!" He'd said, as Olivia turned, one leg already out of the car.

"What?"

"Can we do this again sometime? Can we try to maybe do something at my house? Maybe I'll have a party and we can cohost." Olivia cleared her throat, uncomfortable.

"No, Jake I don't think that's such a good idea." Olivia responded, trying to be gentle about it. But Jake would not relent, he called her back again.

"Why not? I thought we had a good time. And you're good-looking. I'm good-looking. We'd have a lot of fun together."

Olivia shook her head, hard, annoyed beyond belief.

"Look, this will never work. We have different interests and you're kind of… not my type. I'm sorry."

Olivia left the car, running into her house quickly as Jake started to call her name from the car.

"Oh gosh, Abby," Olivia aid, pushing her fingers into her hair. "He was horrible. And boring and made me feel like I was on a date with a brick wall. I'd actually rather have been on a date with a brick wall." Abby sighed.

"I'm sorry I sent you then. My cousin speaks so highly of him. I'll consider the source next time, cause he's also kind of an idiot." Olivia laughed gratefully, dropping her hands.

"I'm glad I don't have to pretend it was fun anymore, because that nearly killed me."

"You go on another date," Abby declared,

Olivia shook her head. "Abby, the days of you trying to set me up are over." Olivia turned back to her book, as their other best friend, Quinn appeared, her uniform almost as loosened as Abby's, wearing knee high black boots.

"So. How'd the date with Jake go?" Quinn asked, dropping her Physics textbook on the table and sitting. Olivia smiled at Abby, twisting her pen around in her hand.

"Not well. I'm not seeing him anymore." Quinn nodded.

"Cool, I kinda called that. Even though I'm not sure what your type is, I was pretty sure Jake wasn't it." Olivia laughed appreciatively.

"Well, I don't have much of a type. I'm absolutely not looking."

Quinn smiled mischievously.

"The word on the street is that Fitzgerald Grant is free." Olivia threw down her pen in annoyance.

"Do you realize that we have a presentation on the Cabeza De Vaca seventh period?" Olivia asked Abby, as Abby's attention had shifted back to Fitzgerald. Quinn had started looking at him too. Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Come on," Olivia said, as Abby took her hand and squeezed.

"Olivia, just look at the guy. He's gorgeous, and he just knows that he is. My God."

Olivia turned slightly in her chair, to look at the table of boys in the back of the library. Fitzgerald was sitting there, intently listening to his teacher. He sat at the end of the table, lounging in his chair, and twirling a pen in his hand.

Now that Olivia was getting a good look at him, she realized that he didn't look like the rest of the boys at their school. Unlike every previous bad-boy type; clean cut but a little rugged around the edges (that ruggedness only went as far as growing an amount of scruffy facial hair and haphazardly combing their hair) - Fitzgerald had a number of interesting tattoos. His uniform shirt was rolled a quarter of the way, revealing that his tattoos probably went all the way up his arms. Olivia wondered if they did. Fitzgerald's hair was a messy brown mass, unruly, and curly and swept to the side, as if he'd just raked his fingers through it that morning. He was clearly tall, his limbs were stretched out, taking up as much room as he could, and his face was chiseled to perfection, his eyes a perfect blue. Olivia broke her eyes away from Fitzgerald.

"He's okay, not my type." Abby turned away from Fitzgerald again.

"Please Olivia, no guy is your type. They haven't made your type of guy yet." Olivia grinned and stood.

"I'm going to go see if I can find more books on the Cabeza De Vaca; leave it to Professor Beene to give us such an annoying presentation topic."

Abby waved Olivia off dismissively, clearly annoyed at Olivia for calling Fitzgerald less than the Adonis she thought he was.  
Olivia disappeared into the maze of books, the library had two major sections on each side of the space. Olivia knew the nonfiction section like the back of her hand, she wandered into her favorite area; the bookcases towered over Olivia by at least five feet. There was a solid wall of books, cut off from the rest of them, these books were so interesting that Olivia dreamed about reading all of them before graduation next year; she hoped she could manage it.

Olivia pulled a stool over and climbed up to the third stair, examining the titles as she reached the section she was looking for.

"By any chance, do you see a book up there about the Côte d'Azur?" Olivia turned around, seeing Fitzgerald standing in the doorway that the bookcases created.

"Yeah, there are tons about the Côte d'Azur, do you want me to just grab a few? I'm up here anyway." Fitzgerald laughed and walked over to where Olivia was standing on the stool. Even with Olivia up on the topmost step, Fitz was taller.

"I think I got it," He scanned the row that Olivia had indicated and pulled a few out.

"Thanks," Fitzgerald started to leave.

"Are those for an assignment?" Olivia asked, Fitz turned and shook his head, leaning against the doorway.

"Nope, I just like to read. The Côte d'Azur is a very interesting place to read about." Olivia crossed her arms indignant.

"Oh, really? Do tell." Fitzgerald smiled slightly.

"Well, its historic, it started as winter spa for the British, before flourishing and becoming a hotbed for artists, writers and bohemians. A lot of amazing things happened there." Olivia nodded, trying not to appear too interested.

"Right, cool. That's… interesting." Olivia turned back around, taking down three books on the Cabeza De Vaca.

"You don't find it interesting." Fitzgerald accused. Olivia shrugged, not facing him.

"I'm not particularly interesting in geography I guess. Not my thing."

"Hm. What is your thing?" Olivia pulled down another book, then stepped down from the stool, clutching the books to her chest.

"I like to read. Mostly fiction. The classics, the discarded classics, books most frequently banned, lesser known works of famous authors… stuff like that." Fitzgerald watched Olivia intently as she spoke.

"That's also interesting. Why do you enjoy that?" He was testing her; they both knew that the kind of students that went to their school were snooty, entitled and overly compensated for their lack of intelligence. An answer like Olivia's wasn't uncommon. Most girls just read so they could say that they read. That wasn't Olivia. Oftentimes, books were the only things she could count on.

Olivia squinted at Fitzgerald.

"Why do you care?" He shrugged.

"We were having a conversation, did you want me to not have a conversation with you?" Olivia's eyes traveled to Fitz's arms again.

"How many tattoos do you have?" She asked this impulsively. Of course she wanted to know, but she hadn't meant to blurt it out like she had.

He seemed taken aback by her question, but, almost without missing a beat, he started to unbutton his shirt, setting his books down on the edge of a nearby shelf.

Olivia panicked.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Fitzgerald didn't stop, he reached the last of the buttons and slipped off the shirt.

"You can stop now, it was just a question!" She insisted, as he stood in front of her naked from the waist up. Olivia briefly wondered why he didn't wear an undershirt.

Fitzgerald took a step forward and stretched his arms out.

"Why don't you count?"

Olivia blinked, her eyes sweeping his chest.

 _Oh, they're everywhere._

She met his eyes.

"Are you serious?" Fitzgerald nodded.

"Very."

Olivia discarded her books on a shelf and moved to stand in front of him, her fingers reaching out hesitantly to point to a specific tattoo.

"One," Olivia said, looking up at Fitzgerald.

"Count to yourself, "

He prodded, smirking. Olivia grinned despite herself and began counting; she counted over ten on his front, including his arms, and as she turned around to count his back, she paused

 _Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality._

Her fingers traced the words as she rounded back to Fitzgerald's front.

"Edgar Allen Poe? Why?" Fitzgerald leaned down to retrieve his shirt.

"I like to read too."

Olivia blinked, stepping back as he dressed again.

Fitzgerald knew he'd thrown her for a loop. Her expression was confused. She crossed her arms. Fitzgerald realized he hadn't caught her name.

"Can I guess your name?" He asked. Olivia's brow furrowed.

"Why don't you just ask me?"

Fitzgerald smirked.

"Clearly I don't like doing things the easy way."

"Or the correct way," She countered.

Fitzgerald shrugged. "Maybe. So can I?" Olivia nodded.

"You can try."

Fitz peered into her eyes, searching, as if her name was hidden in her irises. Her creamy milk chocolate skin, large brown eyes and curvy physique offered no clues. He looked at her small wrists for a bracelet of some kind. Then, unable to help himself, he looked at her shapely legs in her knee highs, her cute Mary Janes and her short uniform skirt.

Fitz bit his lip tentatively before making his first guess.

"Naomi." Olivia laughed, clearly taken off guard.

"Nope." Fitzgerald crossed his arms authoritatively.

"Hm… Kenya?" Olivia raised an eyebrow.  
"Come on now. Not every black girl is named Kenya." Fitz put his hands up in a surrender.

"Okay, fine. I have one more guess. But I want to wager you something."

"Oh yeah? What's the wager?"

"You go on a date with me if I my last guess is right."

Olivia shook her head before he'd finished his sentence.

"I don't think so. I don't really date and…" Fitzgerald held up a finger to silence her.

"But there's no guarantee that I'll be right. The statistical probability that I could actually guess your name is _not_ in my favor. Seriously, I could be completely off base. What if you're a namesake? What if your Mom just read your name one time and loved it? What if your name is in the top hundreds of most common names? How would I possibly be able to account for all of that? The odds aren't in my favor here, so you're really only placating me if you say yes. You're enabling my statistically reckless behavior."

Olivia chuckled, disbelieving.

"Okay. If your guess is right, I'll go on a date with you."

Fitzgerald smirked,

"Great, Olivia. I'll pick you up Friday night? Seven o'clock?" Olivia's eyes narrowed.

"Who told you my name?" She should have known that Fitzgerald wouldn't bet something like a date if he wasn't sure he'd win. This was a classic prep boy trick.

"You're the prettiest girl in this school. And no one's ever even really talked to you. I heard your name in my first class here. You're almost famous."

Olivia blushed; she had maintained an air of mystery, but she hadn't tried to do that by any means, it was something that just happened.

"And what if I said I don't want to go out with a tattooed guy who probably only got those tattoos to piss someone off?"

Fitzgerald shrugged.

"Too bad, you lost. Meet me in the parking lot after school? You can give me your address then."

Olivia watched him pick up his books and walk off, his swaggering walk clearly the result of tricking her.

"You thought it was cool not to mention that you have a date with Fitzgerald Grant? We've been best friends for how long? You know I'm living vicariously through you right now since David is out sick." Olivia shut her locker, looking at Abby affectionately. Olivia twirled one of her carrot orange curls around a finger.

"Oh come on, it's not a big deal. He's probably a jerk anyway. And he'll end up not being my type like Jake. Don't worry, I'm not holding out on you." Abby scoffed and shut her locker; they were wooden and old, the school hadn't had a decent remodeling since 1915. The walls were paneled in dark wood, and the halls were carpeted in navy blue.

"Nope. This is going to be different. You two had a connection. You counted his tattoos- how bad ass is that?" Olivia shook her head, laughing as she pulled on her jacket and tossed her bookbag over a shoulder. They made their way outside and into the parking lot, Quinn appearing as they walked to Abby's car.

"Aren't you supposed to meet him?" Quinn asked, after Abby filled her in.

Olivia subtly scanned the parking lot, looking for Fitzgerald and his motorcycle.

"Yeah. He said he'd be on his motorcycle. He should be around here somewhere."

"Hey Livvie," Olivia turned,

 _Speak of the devil._

"Hey ladies, nice to meet you, I'm Fitz, you are?" He asked Quinn and Abby.

"I'm Quinn-"

"And I'm Abby- Olivia Pope's best friend and personal ass-kicker. Just fyi." Olivia rolled her eyes, even though she was appreciative.

Fitz chuckled good-naturedly and nodded.

"I'll keep that in mind. Livvie, can I talk to you for a second?"

Olivia stepped over to the side with Fitz.

"Before you say anything, I just wanted to correct you; my name is Olivia. I don't really like nicknames."

Fitz smiled.

"I like Olivia. The name is pretty. But Livvie is what I call you. Isn't that nice too?" Olivia blinked, slightly dazed.

"Um. Did you want my address or…? I need to get going." Fitz nodded, pulling a pen from his back pocket.  
"Here,"

Olivia scribbled down her address and phone number and handed it to Fitz, along with his pen.

"Well, bye." Olivia said, still slightly flustered.

Fitz grinned at the piece of paper.

"You signed it 'Livvie'"

Olivia shrugged. "Who am I to spoil your nicknaming fun?" She lingered only a moment before walking back to where Abby and Quinn stood.

Carefully, Fitz folded the piece of paper in two and pushed it into his front pocket. He walked to the edge of the parking lot and climbed onto his bike.

Olivia watched him from inside Abby's car. Sighing as he sped out of the parking lot.

Olivia turned back around from the window, only to be met with Abby and Quinn's stares.

"What?" Olivia asked, surprised.

Abby chuckled, starting her car.

"Guess you've found your type."


	2. Decimation's and Apologies

Olivia got absolutely no peace on the ride to Abby's house; she and Quinn tortured her with the song 'Jesse's Girl'. They replaced the name Jesse with Fitz, screaming so loudly that Olivia retreated into a permanent state of annoyance. Usually, Olivia preferred to go home on Mondays and get a start on the homework she had been assigned, however Abby and Quinn insisted that she log some friendship hours.

Olivia laid on Abby's bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to tune out her silly friends. They hadn't done as well as Olivia had hoped on the Cabeza De Vaca presentation; Abby fumbled with the pronunciation, and Olivia had wanted to emphasize the fact that Hispanic people's roots in America went further than most present-day American's knew, but she was flustered because she hadn't read the books from the library as well as she'd wanted to. Olivia was kicking herself mentally, she couldn't believe that she had let Fitzgerald distract her. She corrected herself, _Fitz_. Fitz had distracted her, and as a result she'd gotten a B on a major presentation.

"What are you wearing when you go out with him? A leather skirt and thigh high boots?"

Quinn asked jokingly, jerking Olivia out of her thoughts. Quinn sat Indian style on Abby's thick carpet and was rocking back and forth, clearly getting a lot of enjoyment from Olivia's annoyance.

Olivia rolled her eyes and rolled onto her stomach, launching her stockinged feet into the air. Abby twirled around in her desk chair, not saying anything. She had been quiet for long enough.

Olivia craned her neck.

"What? Nothing else to throw in the Fitz pot?" Olivia questioned, shooting an accusatory glance at Quinn.

Abby crossed her leg and tapped her finger against her lip in consideration.

"What do we really know about Fitz? I mean aside from the fact that he has a nice face?"

Olivia made a growling sound. The discussion of his face had seemed to go on for hours.

"He tricked me into a date, Abs. I'm not looking to write a biography on the guy, I just want to get through it and move on with my life."

Abby raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced.

She opened her mouth to reply as Mrs. Whelan appeared in the doorway, one of the Whelan's housekeepers, Alice was at her heels.

"Hi Quinn, Olivia. How are you two?" Mrs. Whelan greeted, "I brought you girls some cookies and milk. Anything fun happening tonight?" Abby cast a glance at Olivia, who shot Abby a look that said 'be nice.'

"No Mom. It's Monday." Mrs. Whelan reluctantly smiled as Alice set the tray of cookies on Abby's bedside table and acknowledged each of the girls with a friendly nod.

"Thanks Alice," Mrs. Whelan called as Alice lingered a moment longer. Alice quickly left the room as Mrs. Whelan took a step forward.

"Are you girls staying for dinner?" She asked.

Quinn quickly shook her head and Olivia started to shake hers too, but remembered Abby's previous pleas about having dinner alone with her parents.

"If you're eating early I can stay, my Dad usually gets home around six on Mondays." Mrs. Whelan clapped.

"Great! I'll have Alice fetch you girls at five, we'll eat then." Mrs. Whelan breezed out of Abby's room without further ado, closing the door behind her.

Abby smiled her thanks at Olivia and spun around again in her desk chair.

"We should gather some evidence. Maybe we can call someone that would know him. Where does he live?"

"He's so rich he probably lives in Kent." Quinn asserted cuttingly. Abby crossed her arms.

" _I_ live in Kent, Quinn." Quinn fell back dramatically at Abby's words.

"Oh my God, I had absolutely no idea." Quinn roared sarcastically.

"If you two are done talking about Fitz, we can talk about things that matter… like how we're going to make up for the B we got on that presentation." Quinn and Abby glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Olivia rolled her eyes once again and turned, once again, over onto her back.

"He probably _does_ live in Kent. In a huge house with a maid and a butler, and parents that don't understand him so he got tattoos to cope. We don't belong together. We don't even make good friends." Olivia declared, her thoughts flowing freely.

"You just described me perfectly, minus the tattoos." Abby groaned; _she's really sensitive today._ Olivia thought to herself.

"Oh be quiet," Olivia replied, titling her head deeper into the bed to look back at Abby. "You know that I don't think of you that way and you don't act that way."

Abby tried to move on, but Olivia knew she was still bothered by her once-over of Fitz.

"You need to talk to him tomorrow. Talk to him about his family and stuff; gather Intel." Abby declared.

Olivia smirked.

"Yeah sure, I'm so anxious to pump Fitz for info."

Quinn propped her head up, her smile wide and suggestive as she winked.

"I bet you're absolutely anxious to _pump_ Fitz, alright."

Olivia squealed and launched a pillow at Quinn, giggling wildly.

"Fitzgerald, come to dinner."

Fitz sat up, dropping one of the books about the Côte d'Azur he'd gotten at the library earlier.

"I'm not hungry right now, Lucy. Maybe I'll have a sandwich or something later."

Lucy, his housekeeper since he was six, crossed her arms and cleared her throat, as Fitz had laid back down, starting to read again.

"Fitzgerald, your parents are downstairs. They specifically requested you and your sibling's attendance at dinner tonight."

Fitz sighed loudly as Lucy had begun to retreat. Lucy turned on her heel at Fitz's sound.

"They're barely here, Fitzgerald. The least you can do is show up when they are."

"I think the least I can do is ignore them, and stay in my room until they leave, again." Lucy crossed her arms disapprovingly.

"Cecilia and Kennedy rearranged their schedules to be at dinner, yet you're sitting here by yourself reading a book and you can't bear to pull yourself away for an hour? Fitzgerald, even _I_ can't sell that."

Fitz laughed despite himself and marked his page.

"Is it black tie? Do I have to put on one of my suits to sit at my dining room table?"

Lucy smirked.

"No, Fitzgerald, I think your smart mouth will be enough."

Ten minutes later, Fitz sat across the dining room table from his little sister, Cecilia and next to his older brother, Kennedy. Kennedy had stiffly greeted him, which wasn't out of the ordinary; Kennedy had moved out of the family home when Fitz was thirteen, and the person he was now, Kennedy had no idea.

Since their move from their main home in California to their recently purchased home in Washington D.C., Kennedy had tried to be around more. He'd even invited Fitz to his apartment in Georgetown where he and his fiancée, Julie lived. Fitz stayed there for a long weekend, trying to get a feel for who his big brother was now, but found himself mostly becoming bored, mentally comparing it to what it would be like to hang out with his father. Like he knew how that felt.

Cecilia looked thoroughly annoyed, Fitz knew she had cheer team practice, and even though she was absolutely above it, she clearly preferred it over having dinner with their parents. His father's seat at the head of the table was empty, and his mother's seat- next to Cecilia was also empty. Fitz didn't want to be there anymore than either of his siblings did; Kennedy was better at hiding his disdain for his parents; he and Cecilia weren't quite so skilled.

Cecilia locked eyes with Fitz and tapped her finger on the top of her wrist, rolling her eyes. Fitz shrugged; the only time their parents had a regard for was their own. Cecilia should have known better. Fitz had learned a long time ago not to rely on his parents for anything more than a charge card and a lofty bank account. Anything else, they simply had no capacity for. His mother had stopped trying to shop for his Christmas gifts three years ago; with Fitz, a book often sufficed. His mother never got the memo, and the amount of horribly expensive and careless gifts he received still made him uncomfortable. Had she ever known him at all?

Fitz's father, Jerry, was different story. From an early age, Fitz had always been the disappointment. Maybe it was because he didn't particularly want to become a doctor, lawyer or architect, like the rest of the men in his family. Fitz had never had any real patience for the technical aspects of life, he was a good talker, but he had ambivalent feelings about the law, and he couldn't draw worth a damn. His father was the Head of Neurology and Neurosurgery at John Hopkins Medicine. That should have made Fitz feel good that, even if his father couldn't (or wouldn't) be with him, at least he was helping other people. It didn't though. Jerry, had the arrogance of someone who had never known struggle, he was haughty and unable to be comprehended, and he had neglected Fitz and his siblings since they'd been old enough to realize.

Cecilia was trying to get Fitz's attention again as their parents entered, arm in arm. Almost in a reflex, Fitz rolled his eyes as he stood, the customary way to greet their parents. Fitz noticed Cecilia smoothing invisible wrinkles from her uniform skirt; even if she pretended she didn't care about her parents, she still was intent on pleasing them.

"Children! How are you?" Fitz's mother, Caroline cooed, as she took her seat, nodding approvingly at each of her children. Jerry kissed Cecilia dutifully on her cheek as he took his seat, nodding as Caroline had at Kennedy and Fitz.

Fitz sat again as the staff began bringing out individual dishes and jugs of wine.

"I got all A's last term, Mommy." Cecilia offered, answering Caroline's question. Caroline clapped excitedly.

"Ah! Puppet, that's so wonderful, why didn't you send word?"

They'd been in Washington D.C. for less than a month, and even though their change of scenery wasn't much different in school (a prep school was a prep school), Cecilia clearly wanted their parents to know how well she was adjusting.

"I did, I sent it to Japan, weren't you there in December? I checked the schedule twice I thought." Cecilia explained. Caroline squinted her eyes at the ceiling as she thought.

"Hm. We weren't here for the move, your father had to do some things with the hospital, so he was there for a week, and I was in Denmark for some of that time… I'm not sure, poppykins. I'll have to check. Perhaps the schedule needs to be revised."

Cecilia nodded, trying to hide her disappointment.

"What's new with you two?" Jerry inquired next, eyeing Kennedy and Fitz.

Fitz turned to look at Kennedy, who set his fork down to answer their father.

"Julie is thinking May for the wedding. She's at odds with our wedding planner at the moment, though. We may have to hire someone new. We're talking about venues now, so I'll let you two know as soon as I can so you can put that in the schedule."

Caroline's eyes widened, again in excitement.

"Please do, darling. I would hate to miss it, our May is filling up quickly, and what with your father's adjustment at Johns Hopkins and my duties to my international clientele- I think I'm expected to be in Nigeria one of those weeks."

Kennedy smiled quickly at Caroline and returned to his spinach salad as Fitz felt his parent's eyes on him next. He tried to focus on his own salad, but their stares were unrelenting.

 _Fine._ Fitz thought to himself.

"I have a date Friday," Fitz revealed, glancing at each of his parents.

"That's fabulous, Fitzgerald. Who is the girl? Do we know her parents?"

Fitz raised an eyebrow.

"No, I'm sure you don't. Her name is Olivia Pope."

Jerry snapped his fingers, trying to jog his memory.

"Pope, Pope, Pope. Hm. I'm not sure I know the family. What does her father do?" Fitz shrugged. It was impossible for his parents to know every family in D.C.

"She's in your grade, Fitzgerald?"

"Yes, mother. She's in my grade. She's really smart, loves to read."

"Well, son she sounds like a catch." Jerry commented shortly, clearly uninterested now that he had no inclination of Olivia's pedigree.

"She is," Fitz replied firmly, turning back to his salad, trying to ignore his father's eyes, as they'd once again fallen on him.

"What does your father do?" Olivia turned, crossing her arms at Fitz who had snuck up behind her the next morning.

"He's a historian, why?" Olivia wondered, glancing at Fitz up and down. He looked just as he had the previous day, the only difference being that he wore his navy blazer over his rolled up uniform shirt.

Fitz leaned against her neighboring locker, his schoolbag shrugged over a shoulder.

"Just wondering, we didn't get to talk much about other stuff yesterday."

Olivia shut her locker and took her books in her arms, walking off toward her first period class; she knew Fitz would follow. He kept up with her easily.

"We didn't," Olivia agreed. "But that's because you were more focused on tricking me into a date."

Fitz walked alongside her, grinning at her pronouncement.

"I didn't trick you. I won." Fitz countered, as if he was explaining a fact of life to Olivia.

"Besides, it'll be good for you to try new things. Have new experiences with different people." Fitz went on, as Olivia stopped outside of her classroom.

"You're not very new," Olivia accused, Fitz seemed excited about the verbal sparring they were having, while Olivia was just plain annoyed.

Who did this rich prep boy with a Daddy complex think he was? She was no prize, she wouldn't allow herself to be conquered. Sure, she'd go on the date with him, so he would leave her alone. He thought it was a game, she would show him that it was anything but.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Fitz asked, still amused.

"You really want to know?" Olivia replied; this was a warning- she may have looked quiet and helpless, but she knew how to handle herself. Fitz was more than twice her size, but she could take him.

Fitz nodded, apparently unsure what to expect.

"I don't see much difference from you and the other guys around here. Yes you did get me to agree to a date, but the way I see it, you're out to fulfil a challenge, a checklist, you want me because you can't have me. You don't really want _me_ \- you don't want Olivia Pope. I'm complicated, I'm a person- not a two-dimensional high school bombshell. I'm not a prize you win at a county fair, Fitz. You can't win me, you can't own me and you definitely cannot treat me like I'm some item on a scavenger hunt. Who I am, who I _really_ am isn't easy. I require work and a lot of other things that you're not ready for. So I will go on the damn date with you Friday. We can go somewhere nice, whatever you want. But do not lead yourself into believing that you've won me. You and these other boys are the same. You want what you can't have- what you're told is unattainable. You want torture and pain and agony. Well. Get in line."

Fitz twisted his mouth, clearly at a loss for words as Olivia stared him down. Her lower lip quivered only slightly as she lingered a moment longer, her words hung in the air heavily. Fitz narrowed his eyes.

 _Touché._

He thought,

 _You win this time, Olivia._

"Have a good class," Fitz offered, backing away from Olivia and walking down the hallway from her.

Olivia watched him go. Maybe she had been a little hard on him, but she had been wanting to say that for a while, not only to him but to every other guy who had objectified her. It wasn't Fitz's fault, not entirely, and for the most part he hadn't offended her, but his attitude, this confidence he seemed to ooze from his pores, had started to irritate her.

Olivia went into her first period English Literature class, dropping into her seat next to Huck, the quiet but sweet guy who listened far more often than he talked. When Huck did speak, his words were clearly well thought out and topic centric.

"Hey Huck," Olivia greeted, crossing her leg and trying not to think about Fitz and how she'd just essentially decimated him.

"How do you apologize to someone?" Olivia questioned suddenly, looking at Huck. Huck chuckled shortly, he leaned over.

"You've never apologized before?"

Olivia shrugged. Usually she said what she meant and meant what she said; she had no real need to apologize to someone. Even if her delivery was questionable, Olivia often stood by what she said, because she usually felt as if the person needed to hear it. This time, she felt different. Fitz hadn't objectified her like the rest of the guys had, and he didn't deserve the lengthy speech she'd given him; the rough edges of her words and the cutting nature of her voice were far too aggressive for the minor offenses Fitz had committed.

"Not really. Never needed to. So you were saying?" Olivia replied. Huck eyed Olivia with interest, but with no hint of judgment.

"Well, first you should say that you want to apologize, then say what you apologize for. That's basically it. If you're sincere, that method should work."

Olivia raised her brow.

"That's it? There's no… frills? No bull? I just say I want to apologize, say why and I'm done?" Huck smirked.

"Yes, that's what I usually do. And it works. Give it a try."

Olivia twirled her pen in her hand as she thought. She was going to be in the library the same time as Fitz that afternoon for her block of Study Hall. She could apologize then. She felt her stomach tightening in anxiousness as she thought about walking up to Fitz and saying she was sorry.

Fitz sat in his Economics class, watching the clock tick by painfully slow. He'd endured American Government, slouched through Latin, had a break for lunch, and now he was being subjected to a double block of Economics. Thankfully, only ten minutes remained in the block. His acquaintance- Andrew was staring only semi intently at their teacher- Mr. Bradley, who insisted on filling eighty minutes of the ninety minute block with his lecture. Fitz looked over at Andrew, who had broken away from his only halfhearted attention to Mr. Bradley. Andrew made a suggestive face at Fitz, who raised an eyebrow in confusion.

Hurriedly, Andrew scribbled something on a piece of paper and floated it onto Fitz's desk.

Fitz grabbed it and made out the words in Andrew's horrible scrawl.

'You and Olivia Pope are dating?"

Fitz turned back to Andrew, who had the same stupid look on his face and shook his head hard.

Andrew made another face of disbelief as the bell rang.

Fitz made quick work of gathering his book bag and uniform jacket and hurried from the classroom, hoping that Andrew didn't follow him.

Fitz knew that Liv was going to be in the library for her Study Hall, and his Media class met in the library every class. He was eager to see her again, even if it was only for her to scowl at him and call him names. Strangely he enjoyed how much she yelled at him, there seemed to be a spark between them when she was angry, and she looked up at him with her big eyes. He'd had to distance himself from her earlier when she tore him apart, he needed to regroup. She wasn't entirely right- he didn't want to conquer her, but he did find her interesting because of how much she was seen as a mystery. He wanted to get to know her, he wanted to hold her hand and go on walks and cuddle on winter days. Getting her to want those things too would be a challenge, he realized.

Fitz arrived in the library with time to spare, his spirits sinking as he noticed that Liv hadn't arrived yet. He walked to the back of the library where his class met and deposited his book bag and coat on a chair.

Fitz pushed his hands into his pockets and turned back around as Olivia appeared, her head held high. Fitz felt his neck reddening, his face heating up.

 _She's perfect._

Before he could stop himself, he'd thought it. He'd let himself say it, and there was no way he'd ever forget it.

Olivia had an effortless beauty, she didn't even try to be as alluring as she was. Her large eyes were focused on Fitz as she clutched her satchel's straps.

 _She's wearing thigh highs today._

Fitz realized, her bare thigh was exposed only a fraction, and her skirt picked up the slack, her uniform shirt was rolled once, and she wore a worn-out uniform sweater. Her curly hair was piled onto her head in a messy bun, escapee curls framed her face.

 _She's biting her lip._

Fitz blinked as he realized Olivia must have been slightly nervous.

"Hi." Olivia began, her voice was less confident than it had been earlier.

"Hi," Fitz replied, completely surprised. He'd been expecting a lion and instead a lamb stood before him.

"Fitz." Olivia breathed his name, her eyes reluctantly met his.

Instantly, Fitz wanted her to say his name again, he stepped closer to her.

Olivia blinked slowly, dazed.

"Fitz. I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I-I was wrong earlier. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I'm just tired of being looked at like I'm a prize or something. You didn't do anything wrong. Not really. I apologize."

Fitz grinned.

"Can I hug you?"

Olivia smiled oddly; she wasn't sure what to say, his question was random.

"Um. Sure?"

Fitz stepped closer to Olivia and pulled her into himself, wrapping his arms around her tightly. She seemed unsure of how to respond, but slowly, she relaxed in his arms, allowing him to hold her. She inhaled his scent, he smelled clean and warm and familiar. She sunk into him deeper as she felt his head coming down to rest on hers.

"Thank you."

Fitz whispered. Olivia closed her eyes.

"For what?"

Fitz hugged her tighter,

 _Would this be the first and last time she let him hold her?_

"For letting me in. Thank you."

Olivia had no real response. Maybe she didn't need one. Somehow, she felt as if Fitz got her response loud and clear.


	3. Holding Hands and Static

"You're home early," Olivia's father commented, as Olivia walked into her living room after depositing her satchel in the foyer.

"Yeah, I decided not to go to Abby's. Did Michelle leave already?" Olivia's father, Jackson Rowan Pope crossed his arms and turned down the television as he took in his only daughter's presence. Jackson sat on the couch in a pair of wrinkled slacks and a button up shirt. Olivia remembered when he used to work as a historian, and he wore a three piece suit every day. He was a lawyer before she was born, but he stopped. According to Jackson "lawyers don't make it home for dinner, historians do." She used to tie his tie for him in the mornings. It had been over a year since her father went to work consistently. When Olivia's mother died, everything fell apart, including her father.

"I sent her home this morning. I don't need some coed to babysit me all day, Bee." Olivia mirrored her father and crossed her arms as well, her eyes scanning the cluttered living room. His nickname for her, Bee, always made her soften toward him, and he knew it. When she was a little girl her favorite color was yellow. It was hard for it not to be, as Olivia's mother, Maya had painted her room yellow before she was born. Maya and Jackson had taken to calling her Bee, because she refused to dress in any color but yellow the entire year when she was three.

"Dad, Michelle is here to help you. What if you forget the stove is on again? Or you try to drive and you get lost? Michelle is here so she can take you out and get you home safely when I'm not here."

Jackson's mouth pressed in a thin line and he didn't answer Olivia. "I'm not an invalid," Jackson responded finally, avoiding Olivia's eyes.

"Dad. I know that. No one said you were. But Mom isn't here anymore and I need you to let me take care of you." Olivia sunk down onto the couch as she pushed her head in her hands; she hated having these battles with her father, and they were becoming more and more frequent since he'd started forgetting simple things, things he should remember, like his address or social security number.

"Daddy. Please. You can't keep sending Michelle away. I need her here with you. Please. Just do it for me." Jackson let out a heavy sigh, his body seemed to deflate slightly.

"I'm supposed to take care of you."

"You do, Dad. You do." Olivia insisted. "But you can't when you don't take care of yourself." Jackson sighed once again, and turned the television back up. Olivia tried to meet his eyes again, but he was gone, his mind disengaged from reality and reengaged in static. Olivia bit her lip and turned to face the TV, pulling her shoes off and scooting close to her father, her head rested on his shoulder.

Later that night, after Olivia helped her father to bed, she returned downstairs to watch TV. She bit her lip, worrying about her father as she realized that she hadn't even started her homework. Her entire life was exhausting, from having to lie to her friends about her father, to killing herself in school, pushing harder, the harder she pushed, the more she felt like it wasn't enough. It was never enough.

She'd been so wrapped up in Fitz and all his Fitz-ness that she'd been slipping on her responsibilities. Normally she would have remembered to call Michelle at lunch to check on them. Had she done that, she could have prevented Michelle from leaving. Instead she spent her lunch mulling about apologizing to Fitz. After her date on Friday, Olivia could finally get back to normal, her normal routine, her normal schedule and her normal feelings.

Pulling her Trig book toward her, Olivia bit the cap of her pen, wondering about Fitz. Why couldn't she get him out of her head? Olivia decided she didn't want to know that answer as she started her homework problems.

O

"Can I borrow your car?" Cecelia asked, leaning into the doorframe of Fitz's bedroom. Fitz looked up from his book.

"What's wrong with your car?"

"Can I borrow your car or not?" Cecelia asked again. Fitz marked his page and sat up, throwing his legs over onto the floor to stand. He took his keys from his nightstand and held them out to Cecelia, but pulled them back before she could grab them.

"Cece. What do you need my car for?"

"I just do. You ride your motorcycle every day anyway. Why does it matter? I'll have it back before you know it." Fitz rolled his eyes and handed Cece the keys.

"Have it back before two, okay? And take it easy on the clutch, she's sensitive."

Cece nodded and kissed Fitz on the cheek.

"Thanks."

Fitz watched Cece go, his mind immediately flipped back to Olivia as he closed his door. He'd buried himself in a book, as he always did when he didn't want to think about something, or in this case someone.

He remembered that he had her phone number, on a crumpled piece of paper on his nightstand. He wanted to call her. He needed to call her.

Fitz sat down on his bed and picked up the phone, spreading Olivia's number out so he could dial the numbers.

Shaking, he held the receiver to his ear and waited, unsure of if Olivia would even answer; it wasn't late, but maybe she went to bed early.

After another ring, Olivia answered.

"What?" Her voice was brisk, and Fitz couldn't help but laugh at how Olivia answered the phone. It didn't surprise him though. He'd learned not to be surprised about the quirks that Olivia had.

"Livvie. It's Fitz."

"I know." Olivia replied, her voice hadn't changed after finding out that it was him.

"You know? What, do you recognize my voice already?" Fitz chuckled.

"No. You're the only one who calls me Livvie."

"Right. Right." Fitz said, slightly let down.

"Why are you calling me?" Olivia asked.

"Honestly? I can't stop thinking about today."

Olivia was silent on the other end, Fitz hoped she was softening.

"I just… I know I didn't apologize for tricking you. But I am sorry. I didn't know how else to get you to go out with me." Fitz said quickly.

"It's okay." Olivia finally replied.

"It is?" Fitz asked, surprised.

"Yes. It is."

"I didn't think you'd forgive me. But I want to start over. When we have our date on Friday, I want us to be different. More open. How we were today."

"Fitz, it's late." Olivia said, not commenting on Fitz's assertions.

"Right. Well…See you tomorrow."

"Ok." Olivia replied, hanging up the phone.

Fitz grinned and hung up too, laying backward on his bed. He wondered if she was sitting on her bed, surrounded by books, her curly hair messy for once, her school uniform still on. Or maybe, she had just showered, and was in her pajamas watching TV. Whatever she was doing, Fitz couldn't help but think about her and how much he wanted to be with her.

Olivia walked into school the next morning, cradling her English Lit and Trig books in her arms. She barely got any sleep the previous night. She'd been up replaying her phone call with Fitz in her head. Why he was stuck in her head, she couldn't be sure. She stuffed her notebook into her bookbag and shoved her coat into her locker as she noticed an arm hovering over her head, and turned to see a grinning Fitz standing close to her.

"Déjà vu." Olivia commented dryly, as she turned back around to shut her locker.

"Can I walk you to class?" Fitz asked, grinning and holding out his arm.

"You want to walk the halls with me on your arm?" Olivia questioned, her eyebrow raised.

"Yeah. Is that not allowed?"

"I don't know." Olivia admitted.

"Maybe we try arm and arm next time? How about I just hold your hand?" Fitz suggested, motioning to Olivia's right hand that clutched the strap of her satchel.

"I don't know." Olivia stammered, looking up at Fitz with wide eyes.

"How about we try it?" Olivia nodded, as Fitz pulled her hand from her strap and intertwined their fingers.

Olivia bit her lip, looking down at their hands.

"Ready?" Fitz asked, as some of their classmates were already noticing that they were holding hands.

Olivia smiled nervously. "Ready."


	4. Licorice & Sweatpants

"Does this look okay?" Fitz asked Cece, as she flipped a page of her Chemistry textbook. Cece rolled her eyes as Fitz turned, examining the army green button up he was contemplating wearing on his date with Olivia that night.

"I guess. Are you trying to launch an attack or go to dinner?" Cece asked, not looking up but ticking her tongue at Fitz, indicating that she disapproved of his outfit. Fitz pulled off the button up abruptly, dropping it on the floor and picking up an almost identical shirt in navy blue. Fitz was nervous, he'd never gone on an actual date before, his parents liked to set him up with daughters of their friends, or colleagues. Fitz wasn't difficult, but he liked unique girls, and the girls he was set up with were all the same, all one dimensional. Fitz liked that Olivia was a challenge, that she wasn't afraid to be impolite and that she spoke her mind. He envied her confidence, she made him work harder, just to keep up.

"Why don't you just wear a pair of your suit pants and a button up?" Cece advised, getting up from his bed and scanning his closet quickly, pulling a pair of pants down.

"Here, try these. And burn those jeans, Fitz. You look like a club kid." Fitz chuckled and discarded his light wash jeans on the floor.

"And you're sure the button up isn't too much?" Fitz asked, apprehension leaking into his voice.

Cece raised her eyebrow.

"Where are you taking her?" Fitz shrugged on his suit jacket and undid the top two buttons of his button up, he searched the bottom of his closet for his black dress shoes.

"There's this amazing Italian place I thought she'd like."

"Is it fancy?" Cece pressed.

"Sort of. Maybe I'm overdressed…"

Cece surveyed Fitz again.

"Roll up your sleeves." Fitz paused in his search for his shoes.

"Huh?"

Cece gave him a look, and Fitz did as instructed.

Rolling his sleeves made his outfit more casual, and showed off his tattoos. Cece collapsed back onto Fitz's bed, turning another page on her textbook.

"See? Now you can get away with wearing those shoes."

Fitz pulled on his dress shoes, having finally found them.

"What's wrong with my shoes?" Fitz asked, staring down at them.

"Absolutely nothing, brother." Cece answered, giggling. "By the way, what was up with you and Ken icing each other out at dinner?" Fitz rolled his eyes at the thought of his brother and picked up his comb, running it through his hair twice and shaking his head, undoing any taming he might have done.

"He's just an asshole." Fitz replied reluctantly.

Cece considered this for a moment. "But so are you. You guys should get along great." Fitz turned around, he regarded Cece seriously.

"As far as I'm concerned, Ken is on the fast track to being Dad. He doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself and he's more concerned with money than getting to know his own siblings."

Cece sat up again, clearly feeling combative.

"And you think you're not on the fast track to being Dad? You go to the same school Ken did, you have basically the same skill set and the way you're hung up on Olivia, you'll be married before you're 23, just like Ken and just like Dad. You're just like them, Fitz. You just pretend you're not."

Fitz ignored Cece's observations and disappeared into his bathroom.

"Speaking of recent behavior," Fitz called. "What did you do the other night with my car?" Cece ignored Fitz, instead she took notes in the margins of a notebook.

"Cece? That wasn't a rhetorical question."

Cece remained silent as Fitz scrunched up his face in the mirror, and decided he probably looked presentable. He wondered what Olivia would be wearing, but exited the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe, watching Cece pretend to read.

"Cece. C'mon. I don't judge." Cece rolled her eyes and looked up at Fitz and bit her lip.

"I think you'll judge me if I tell you."

Fitz chuckled. "No, I won't. I promise." Cece stared at Fitz for another beat before rolling over to lay on her back.

"Fitz, I'm seeing someone." Cece divulged, her voice just above a whisper.

"Okay. Is this someone on the run? A career criminal? Father to a basketball team of kids?" Cece pushed her hands over her face. Fitz, not understanding why Cece was making such a huge deal about telling him, sat next to her, and pulled her hands away from her face.

"Cece. You can tell me."

Cece blinked twice, hard, before telling him.

"Fitz. I'm dating a girl. She's in my year."

Fitz raised an eyebrow, he was surprised, and he couldn't deny that.

"Wow."

"I know." Cece replied, rolling over onto her elbow.

"Fitz. Do you know how mad Mom and Dad are gonna be?" Cece asked, picking at Fitz's comforter.

"I say don't tell them," Cece regarded Fitz skeptically, to which Fitz just shrugged.

"Look, they only want to hear good news anyway, and you know it. They hate hearing anything other than that. Either you're perfect or you're nothing, and we know that."

Cece nodded, she knew Fitz was right, as much as she hated it.

"I really like her, you know. Her name is Alyssa. She's sweet… she makes me feel… imperfect." Fitz smiled at his sister, grateful to be able to talk to her honestly.

"And that's a good thing?" Fitz asked, already sure of Cece's answer as a dazzling smile crept onto her face.

"That's an amazing thing."

Fitz grinned back at Cece.

"I'm happy for you… but why did you need my car?"

Cece laughed, and bit her lip. "Cause your car is much bigger than mine." Fitz raised an eyebrow, scandalized.

"Oh? And what, pray tell, did you do with the extra space?"

Cece wrinkled her nose at her brother. "I bet you'd love to know." Cece teased. Fitz stood, adjusting his shirt. "Not really. I'd love to know that you're happy."

Cece rolled her eyes playfully. "I am. Very."

"Good," Fitz replied, wrinkling his nose right back.

O

Olivia was sprawled out in the middle of her bed, trying not to cry as she heard her father ambling around downstairs. She smoothed the nonexistent wrinkles from her skirt and stared pointedly at the crumpled up shirt that up until ten minutes ago, she'd been wearing. She'd been ready to go on her date with Fitz, but as she descended the stairs, and saw her father grumbling to himself in the kitchen, pulling at the shelves and splaying condiments and such all around the kitchen. Olivia had rushed to his side, wondering how she would "bring him back." Of course, her father was in a state, and Olivia couldn't get him to stop. He was looking for the TV remote, and as Olivia tried to help him look for it in the living room instead of the kitchen, her father pushed her, leaving two half ketchup handprints on the stomach of her shirt.

Olivia laid there in her black bra, trying to convince herself that her blue shirt would look just as good as her white one had, but she couldn't even get up, she felt so heavy, and so sad.

How could she handle this? Her father forgetting how to be her father.

Olivia heard the downstairs phone ringing, and glanced at the alarm clock on her nightstand. It ten past seven.

Olivia reluctantly left her bed and pulled on her nightshirt and walked downstairs to answer the phone.

Thankfully, her father had moved to looking in the basement, but Olivia didn't trust that he'd be away from her for too long.

"What?" Olivia answered, already knowing who it was.

"Livvie? I'm sorry I'm running late. I'll be there in about fifteen minutes."

Olivia exhaled, tears rolling down her cheeks as her father dropped something in the basement below.

"Fitz, listen. I can't go out tonight."

"Why not?" Fitz couldn't hide the hurt in his voice, Olivia felt herself melting into the phone, his voice bringing her to a better place.

She'd enjoyed hanging out with him, holding his hand and talking to him about the books he loved, and the ones he hated. She liked Fitz, a lot. She hated that she did. It was easier not to. Even her best friends, Abby and Quinn only knew so much about her. They never came to her house and they had no idea that her father had such a debilitating disease.

Olivia didn't want them to know.

"I'm just… dealing with a lot. Not that it matters."

"Livvie. It matters. To me it matters."

"Fitz." Olivia started, her tongue running over her bottom lip as she cradled his name in her mouth. "This is too much."

Fitz moved closer to the phone, Olivia noticed, she could hear his breathing loud and clear.

"Can I please come and see you?" Fitz asked, his voice somber.

"Fitz. Not here."

"So can I take you somewhere? I know a place. We can talk, just for a little bit. I can come right now."

Olivia clutched the phone tightly, her knuckles white around the receiver. Her throat was thick, she wanted to sob, but she couldn't.

"Yes. Okay. Just for a little." Fitz breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay. I'm on my way."

"Okay. Don't get out of your car, just honk."

Olivia hung up the phone, feeling the blood rush back into her hand as she padded to the door to the basement.

"Dad. I found the remote." Her father came back up the stairs, his sweatshirt smeared with condiments as Olivia lead him arm and arm back to the couch.

"Sit, Dad. Here." Olivia handed her father the remote, which hadn't moved from her father's placement on the arm of the couch.

Her father smiled at the remote as he changed the channel from a news story.

"Thank you, Bee." Olivia kissed her father on the cheek quickly, but her father stopped her.

"Are you going somewhere? You look nice. Minus that ratty old shirt." Olivia laughed weakly, plastering on a smile.

"No, no. Just running out to see Abby for a second."

"Oh. Alright. Don't be out too late, Bee." Olivia nodded.

"I won't,"

Quickly, Olivia bounded upstairs, shedding her shirt and pulling on the blue one that looked good enough. She felt tired again. She looked perfect and put together, as normal. No one would have guessed that her father had just had a meltdown and smeared her with ketchup thirty minutes prior.

Thinking quickly, Olivia pulled off the skirt and instead pulled on a pair of her comfiest sweatpants. Hearing a honk, Olivia pulled on a pair of her running sneakers and headed downstairs and outside, thankful that her father was vegging out in front of the TV. Olivia tucked her key into the pocket of her sweatpants and walked down her house's walkway, to see Fitz leaning against the passenger side of his car, smiling as soon as he saw her. Olivia couldn't believe how amazing Fitz looked, in a suit with the arm sleeves rolled up and his hair perfectly tousled, Olivia couldn't help but want to kiss him.

Olivia had never wanted to kiss anyone. Ever.

Olivia approached Fitz cautiously, thrown off by how physically attracted to him she was in that moment.

"Are you okay?" Fitz asked, noticing that Olivia stopped two feet from him, her arms crossed as she stared up at him.

"I'm fine." Olivia replied stiffly.

Fitz closed the space between them, looking down at her and pushing his hands to cup her lower arm. He pulled Olivia into his chest, into which Olivia melted, she inhaled his scent and felt like crying, she felt like trusting him, like telling him exactly what was wrong, but she couldn't. She wouldn't.

If he had asked her, Olivia would have said no. He didn't ask her to let him hold her this time. Fitz held her like it was his job, he held her together.

"Are you hungry?" Fitz asked, not letting her go.

"Not at all." Olivia replied honestly.

"Not even for ice cream?" Fitz pressed. Olivia chuckled into his chest.

"I hate ice cream." Olivia countered.

"Okay. So what do you love?"

Olivia pulled away, staring up at Fitz. "Something I love? I don't love anything." Fitz laughed.

"Not even candy? What is your favorite candy?"

Olivia thought for a moment, leaving Fitz in suspense.

"Licorice. I guess. If I had to pick." Fitz smiled.

"Interesting. I would have never guessed."

"You've thought about my favorite candy?" Olivia accused, cracking a smile.

"The more important question is where can we find some licorice at this time of night?"

O

Olivia sat in the passenger side of Fitz's car, her legs crossed as she pulled apart a licorice whip and sipped some of her seltzer water. Fitz watched her, taking a bite of his chocolate bar and readying his bottle of Coke.

"That's such a weird combination," Fitz observed, as Olivia took another sip of her seltzer.

"And Coke and a Hershey bar isn't?" Olivia countered. Fitz chuckled.

"Okay. You win." Fitz said, holding up his hands.

Olivia smiled at him a moment longer, before leaning back and staring ahead.

"This is weird." Olivia admitted, suddenly uncomfortable in her sweatpants.

"How so?" Fitz asked, shooting Olivia a dazzling smile. Olivia grinned and looked away again.

"You're seeing me… in my sweatpants." Olivia replied plainly.

"And that's weird why?" Fitz pressed, taking in Olivia's slightly puffy face. She looked as if she'd been crying.

"I don't know. It's just. Weird… like… intimacy I guess. I'm not used to it." Fitz laughed again, and set his Coke down.

"Have I told you that you phrase things in such an interesting way?" Olivia bit her lip and didn't answer.

"Fitz. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For blowing off our date. I wanted to go. And I should have been dressed so that we could go."

Fitz shot Olivia a sideways smile.

"I don't blame you, I actually liked this better. Just being with you is nice. I like that. I like that I don't need to go anywhere to like being with you."

Olivia grinned. "I like that too. I'm just. Not perfect. But you think I am."

"Livvie, I know you're not perfect."

"You must think I am. The way you look at me. How can you think anything else?"

"The last thing I think you are is perfect. You're interesting to me because you pretend to be perfect. You think that by making yourself seem so put together that everything else will somehow be put together too."

Olivia swallowed, her throat thick. "Wow. That's what you think?" Olivia asked.

"Isn't it true?" Fitz implored.

"Maybe." Olivia allowed, her voice thin and timid.

"Okay." Fitz accepted.

* * *

 ** _A/N: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter!_**

 ** _I enjoy reading your reviews and they really help me out!_**

 ** _This chapter establishes a few things, first we get to see some of the stress Liv undergoes at home, and her desire to present a perfect face to the world. We also see Liv shed a little of that perfect persona by being vulnerable in her sweatpants with Fitz (it may not seem like such a big deal, but to Liv, who is used to being so composed it was a huge leap!) We also find out why Cecelia took Fitz's car in the previous chapter, and Cece's story line isn't over! She's coming back and there will definitely be some drama there._**

 ** _I actually enjoyed writing the scene where Fitz tells Cece that if she isn't perfect she doesn't matter, in the eyes of their parents, and then Fitz goes to tell Liv that he doesn't see her as perfect at all. To me, that is Fitz's way of saying so much more._**

 ** _Please tell me what you thought! And I hope you enjoyed!_**

 ** _Avis_**

 ** _xoxo_**


	5. Punches & Pot

"Come outside,"

Olivia turned around, and peeked out of the window on the side of her door.

"Fitz," Olivia sighed, turning away from the window and walking back to the side table in her entryway. "Why are you outside?"

Fitz chuckled.

"Well, I am calling you from my very convenient cell phone, which my parents so generously sent from Japan and I am here to pick you up for school."

A sound from upstairs startled Olivia. Her father had probably woken up and knocked something over, he'd done it before. She turned back to the phone.

"Who told you to do that, Fitz? I get a ride with Abby and Quinn every morning."

"Well I'm here this morning, I can take you."

"Fitz, please. I still have to get my father up and ready,"

There was a pause on the phone as Olivia realized what she'd said, and she hoped Fitz would overlook it, she clung to the phone and waited for his voice to overtake her again, instead she heard the dial tone. Olivia pulled the phone away from her face in surprise and stared at it for a second just as the doorbell rang.

"No," Olivia said aloud, taking two steps toward the window and pulled the small curtain back that covered it. Olivia nearly cursed as she saw Fitz standing there, dressed in his school uniform with a navy colored coat over it. He looked like he'd just rolled out of bed, and as usual it suited him.

"NO!"

Olivia yelled, feeling herself becoming lightheaded. As far as she was concerned there was a red line painted on her doorstep that warded off any outsiders. One could not just simply walk over it and knock on her door.

"Olivia."

Her head snapped to the top of the stairs as she noticed her father trying to descend them, still dressed in his pajamas and looking almost normal.

"Dad. Go back to bed, it's just someone going door to door. I'll take care of it."

Her father didn't retreat, he stood on the topmost step surveying her odd position; her arms were splayed protectively over the front door.

"Olivia, do you think I'm an idiot?"

She shook her head, not moving from her positon.

"No Dad. And I didn't mean to wake you. Michelle should be here soon, when she comes I'll have her make you something."

Jackson stared at Olivia intently, until his stare became blank.

"Where are you going?"

He asked, in a different voice. Olivia felt her pulse quickening as she regarded her father in horror. He continued down the flight of stairs and took Olivia's arm roughly.

"Where are you going? Answer me, Maya!"

Olivia blinked at her father, comprehending what had just happened, she tried to pull away from her father's grip but he wouldn't let her.

"Dad. It's Olivia. Maya is my mom."

Olivia told him gently, unsure of what else to do. They'd gone to see a doctor when his spells had started happening. The only advice she'd offered was to remind her father of the situation, and hoped that he would find his way back to her. It had worked nearly every time he'd 'wandered off' but this time it seemed, he was too far out to be tethered back in so easily.

"Maya. Who's out there? Why are you lying to me? Where are you going?"

Her father asked, not releasing Olivia from his grip.

"Dad," Olivia was nearly begging, "I'm Olivia. I'm your daughter. Maya is my Mom, and she's dead."

Jackson looked at Olivia for a long pause, during which Olivia held her breath, hoping he was finally coming back to her. But, instead of recognizing her as his daughter and not his wife, Jackson threw Olivia aside and opened the door, to Fitz who was still there, standing in anticipation on their doorstep.

 _Oh no_ , Olivia thought, cupping her hands over her mouth as Jackson assessed Fitz.

"Is this him?" Jackson demanded. "Is this the guy you see when you leave me? When you leave your daughter, Maya?"

Fitz looked at Olivia, questions swirling in his eyes as he opened his mouth to explain.  
"I'm sorry, Mr. Pope. I'm not who you think I am."

"Fitz don't,"

Olivia interjected at the same time, trying to diffuse the situation, but her efforts were ill-timed as Jackson became enraged, snatching Fitz's uniform shirt, causing several buttons to pop off in fright.

"How _dare_ you. How dare you come to my house and lie to my face!"

Before Olivia could pull her father back, he swung, and punched Fitz squarely in the mouth. Fitz staggered back, Jackson's grip broken by the momentum of his punch.

Fitz nearly fell, but caught himself before he completely toppled over. He pushed his hands on his knees as he spit a mouthful of blood onto what had formally been Maya's tulip bed.

Fitz looked up at Olivia, his lip busted and his nose faintly bruised.

"Fitz, I'm sorry,"

Olivia told him, biting back tears as her father rounded on her again, his anger still present as he gripped Olivia up and shook her, hard. Olivia just flopped in his arms, nearly sobbing as he abruptly ceased shaking her, and held her still at arm's length.

"Bee? Why are you crying?" Jackson asked, concern etching onto his face as he took in Olivia's tear streaked cheeks.

Olivia cast a look at Fitz, who was now more confused than ever, still stooped over and trying to regain his wits.

"Dad, please don't do this." Olivia begged, pulling away from his arms. "You can't do this to me!"

"Do what, Bee? What did I do?"

Olivia sidestepped her father and rushed to Fitz's side, caressing his cheek tenderly.

"I'm sorry," Olivia whispered to him, her eyes still welling with tears. "I'm so sorry."

Olivia leaned in to allow her lips to brush his cheek, and pulled away almost as quickly.

"Livvie, what's going on?" Fitz questioned, the bridge of his nose turning a concerning shade of blue.

"I can't explain. I wish I could but I can't," Olivia looked back to her father, who was watching Olivia intently.

"Don't do this," Fitz warned, his words holding an air of desperation. "Don't shut me out like this, Livvie. We're doing so well. We've come so far."

"Did you ever stop to think that being shut out is what's best for you?"

Olivia hissed through her tears, her father's gaze burning holes on her back. She swore she could feel it.

"No, that's never what's best for me. Not knowing what's going on with you isn't what's best for me."

"Fitz. There are things I can never tell you, alright? Things you'll never get to know about me because they're undesirable."

"And you don't think I have undesirable things about me? We all do. I want you to share things with me."

"And if I can't? What are you going to do if I _can never tell you_? Are you going to stop talking to me?"

"I'm tired of trying to knock down this damn wall you have up." Fitz replied, almost numbly.

"You haven't even been trying,"

Olivia spat, her words tasted like metal on her tongue.

She hated this, why did he need to know everything? Her father punching him in the face wasn't enough for him to understand that this wasn't just about her?

"I've been trying since I met you to see you, to really see you. And you won't let me for some reason."

"Fitz," Olivia warned, noting that her father hadn't moved an inch.

"Why don't you want to open up? Do you think I won't like what I see?"

" _Fitz_."

"Do you hate yourself that much?"

Olivia stood, backing away from Fitz.

"Go."

Fitz stood too, his glare nearly poisonous.

"You're telling me to leave?"

Olivia crossed her arms. "Consider it a suggestion."

Fitz took one long look at her before turning on his heel and climbing back into his car.

Olivia turned away from the curb as he pulled off.

"Dad, come on, let's get you inside."

Olivia did her best to wrap her Dad's limbs around her neck as she helped him inside.

"Who was that?" he asked, motioning to the curb.

"Nobody." Olivia grumbled, managing to get him over the threshold.  
She was determined to make her statement true.

* * *

Olivia laid in Abby's bed, her head resting in Abby's lap and her legs sprawled across Quinn's. Abby stroked her hair, trying to soothe her, but it hadn't been working thus far.

"I must admit I had my money on him," Abby commented dryly, watching Olivia give into another wave of tears.

Quinn passed Olivia a Kleenex immediately; they'd developed this routine for Abby when it came to David, her mostly longtime boyfriend. Abby typically invented reasons to argue with David when she felt as though things were going too well, and David, being so in love with her, didn't recognize that this occurred every few weeks.

"I did too, and I don't like to be optimistic about anything," Quinn chimed in, looking over at Olivia pityingly. "I actually thought you'd found _the one_. If _the one_ exists for anyone. He's the only guy you've ever even looked at for long enough."

Olivia sobbed wordlessly, her sobs turning over into dry heaves.

"He hates me." Olivia managed to say, as she covered her eyes with her arm.

Quinn nodded in agreement, as Abby reached over to punch her in her arm.

"Ouch!" Quinn yelped, her hand jumping up to rub her arm. "I'm sorry I agree with her! She said it not me! Wouldn't David hate you if your father went all Muhammad Ali on him?"

"David wouldn't hate me because my father would never do that," Abby replied curtly, looking back down at Olivia who'd fallen silent as she listened to their exchange. "What I meant was… my father would never do that because he gets a manicure every Tuesday and that's a lot of stress on the nails."

Olivia seemed to accept Abby's statement and continued to sob, pressing her face into Abby's leg. Quinn gave Abby skeptical a look to which Abby shrugged

"Why did your Dad punch him again?" Abby asked, smoothing Olivia's hair once again.

Olivia stared at the ceiling blankly.

"Fitz startled him, he was just waking up. Why does it matter?" Olivia countered.

"I was just asking, it seems weird that your Dad would punch him for no reason."

Olivia sat up, pulling her legs from Quinn's lap.

"You don't know my Dad, you don't know what's weird and what's normal."

Olivia waited for Quinn and Abby to reply, but they seemed shocked at her outburst.

"I should have just went home," Olivia told herself, scooting to the edge of the bed and slipping on her shoes.

"You don't have to go," Abby called, as Olivia slipped her jacket on and took her backpack.

"Yes, Abby I do. I should have kept this to myself, I didn't need to come cry to you and Quinn."

Abby stood too.

"I was surprised you did, Liv. You never have before. Don't you think that's weird? That we've been friends for years and I've never been to your house, you never cry in front of me and if you do tell me what's going on with you, I've had to beat it out of you first?"

"Abby…" Olivia started, knowing that she had no explanation. She almost wanted to lie, to offer an explanation to everything that Abby had pointed out, but she couldn't. This was nearly the same thing Fitz had said to her earlier. She had a wall up. She knew it, hell, she'd started reinforcing it with concrete and barbed wire a long time ago.

How could she expect someone to break it down? She couldn't… but she hoped that someone would try.

"Abby. I'm sorry that you feel that way. But you know everything that's important about me. You said it, we've been friends for years and everything that I've told you, that's me. And what I haven't told you… that's what's not important."

Abby shook her head, making immediate eye contact with the floor.

"Really? You're just disregarding everything about our friendship because you've never been over my house? That's what you're choosing to dwell on?"

Abby shrugged. Quinn, who'd been silent out of a sheer feeling of awkwardness slowly climbed to her feet and took her shoes and backpack in her hands. She tiptoed through the presently silent standoff and exited Abby's room without another word.

Olivia rolled her eyes at Quinn's departure as Abby rounded on Olivia again.

"I feel like there's this whole other part of you that I don't know, I hate that you're so cold and reserved and closed off sometimes. You don't even let me touch you! And I feel like you could just quit being friends with me and you'd be alright, because you don't need anybody, do you? You never have and you never will. And if you don't need anyone then you don't need me either."

"So you're basically saying, let you in or get out?" Olivia surmised, raising an eyebrow at Abby.

"Well. If you want to sum it up like that, sure."

Olivia threw her hands up. "How fucking original, Abby."

"And you curse now, too? Cool."

"Abby. You can't pressure me into opening up to you. It's not fair and I never thought you do that to me."

"I'm not trying to pressure you. You should want to talk to me. What do you think I'll do to you if you're honest? I don't care if shitty things are going on in your life, I'm not gonna look at you any differently. I tell you all my stuff. Every gross and weird thing I've done with David and I know you'll listen and you won't judge me."

"I'm not afraid of you judging me."

"So you're afraid that I'll stop being friends with you? That I'll hate you, what?"

Olivia shook her head forbiddingly.

"It's not like that."

"Then tell me what it's like." Abby replied pointedly.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because I care about you. And because you shouldn't have to carry everything you go through with you. It's not necessary when you have people around who love you."

Olivia scoffed, "That's a short list."

"Is it?" Abby inquired.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at Abby.

"Yes, it is. But fine, you asked for it. My father's going crazy, he's literally losing his mind and I'm the only one that is there for him. I'm there and if this morning is any indication, my mother is there sometimes too. Apparently my mom cheated on him before she died because he thought Fitz was her lover and punched him out. It's exhausting having to pretend that I go home to normalcy, because I don't. I go home to chaos and I hope it doesn't bubble over. Like it did this morning."

"Oh, Liv," Abby moaned, rushing forward to hug her tightly. Olivia let her, though Abby had been spot on when she'd said that she didn't like to be touched.

"I know you hate this, but I'm glad you're taking it."

"I figured I owed you one,"

Olivia replied stoically, waiting for Abby to let her go, but clearly Abby was enjoying the moment a little too much. Finally Abby unlatched from her.

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe you've been dealing with this by yourself."

"It's been okay up until now. He's just been spacy and a little confused, but this morning it was like he didn't even recognize me. It scared me and of course he punched Fitz. I don't know how I'm supposed to handle this."

Abby twisted her mouth in thought.

"I don't know either, Liv. But that's what happened today? Your Dad just punched Fitz and he got mad and left?"

Olivia shook her head in frustration.

"It probably would have been better if that's what happened, but no. Fitz spit out a mouthful of blood and still stayed. He stayed until I told him to go."

Olivia almost started crying remembering Fitz's shocked face when she'd ordered him to go.

"Liv. Why would you do that? Any guy that is willing to take a right hook from your father is a guy you should keep around."

"I'm seventeen." Olivia replied dryly.

"And…? You're graduating in a year. It's not about your age. It's about you being scared."

"You think _I'm_ scared?"

Abby laughed.

"Yes. The great mysterious Olivia Pope can be scared too. You're scared that Fitz is the one. You thought you had no type. And maybe you don't. But what if you do?"

"You've been watching too much _90210_." Olivia replied.

"I definitely have, but that's not the point. The point is, Fitz could just be a guy you date for a few months and then he'll be nothing, _or_ he could be the guy you marry, then he'll be everything. With stakes that high, how can you possibly think that you have the right not to try your hardest?"

Olivia turned her head, upset that Abby was lecturing her this way. It was over with Fitz. He wasn't her type, because the guy she would end up with would fight for her, he'd pursue her even once she'd banished him. She needed him to show up for her, and Fitz didn't have that in him.

"He's a spoiled rich boy, Abby. He's never worked for anything in his life and he never will. He's used to smiling in the direction of the girl he wants. And I'm not like that. I'm not a come easy kind of girl, and maybe that intrigued him for about five seconds, but it doesn't anymore. It's over, we're done and frankly I'm glad he tapped out before I invested any real time in him."

"You're being a bitch because I'm making sense. I know that much. I know that you have feelings for him. And you're pretending that what your parent's make matters so much. Has he ever acted like he's entitled to you or anything else? No. He's never made you feel that way, Liv. Because he's _not_ that way."

Abby sighed as she noticed how checked out Olivia had become.

"I don't want to ruin the breakthrough we had by reaming you. But you know what I'm saying. And you know that I'm right."

"Of course I do. Can I go home now, Sergeant?" Olivia requested, crossing her arms.

Abby wrinkled her brow. "I thought you'd want to stay over… considering."

"That's sweet. But I should get home. Can you take me?"

Abby shrugged, picking up her car keys from her bureau.

"Sure."

* * *

Fitz pushed his finger onto his busted lip, feeling a scab forming nicely. He reclined in his seat, taking another drag from the joint he'd rolled a few hours prior. Fitz wasn't much of a smoker, but he did know where to get it; many of his acquaintances at school either sold or were in direct connections with those who did. After his morning with his Livvie, he needed to get out of his head, and he hoped that the pot would do that. Fitz inhaled, holding the smoke in for several seconds before exhaling and turning up his radio, recognizing a song that he'd had the tape to when it first came out- _Don't Dream, It's Over_ by Crowded House.

Fitz thought the song fitting as he took another drag. He was starting to feel the effects of the high trickle in as his cell phone rang.

Fitz held the joint between his lips as he answered the phone.  
"Hello?" Fitz answered, inhaling in the next moment.

"Fitz," _It's her_ , Fitz realized. He had half the mind to hang up the phone, but he couldn't bring himself to, instead he held the burning joint in his hand, stoned and lovesick.

"Livvie. You're calling me," Fitz managed, his voice off.

"I'm calling you," she echoed.

"Why? What changed?"

"I talked to Abby,"

"I knew I liked her," Fitz replied, smiling dreamily.

"Where are you? I'll come and get you."

"I'm home. Isn't it too late?"

"No, if you don't mind coming over, I'll get you home later."

"Fitz, I can't be gone all night."

"Please, Livvie." Fitz pleaded. "Just a few hours. I promise you'll get home."

"Fine. Just let me make sure everything's all right here."

"Can I head over now?"

She didn't answer right away, and Fitz held his breath the entire time she was silent.

"Yes, you can come now. I'll be outside waiting for you."

"Okay. I'm on my way."

She waited on her front steps for Fitz to arrive, dressed in sweatpants again, her hair pulled up. Her father had been sleeping when Abby dropped her off less than a half hour ago. Thankfully no one had called during the day, and she'd been able to redial Fitz's cell phone, as she didn't have the number. She felt raw. Abby's lecture had both aided and wounded her. She wanted to believe that Fitz could be her future. But didn't virtually every media outlet present young love as a frivolous ordeal? Hello, _Romeo and Juliet_!

Olivia bit down on her lip as Fitz pulled up in front. She jumped up as soon as she saw him, taking longer strides than her legs allowed, climbing in the car and smiling at Fitz.

"Hi." She greeted, suddenly shy now that she was with him.

"Are you alright? Still sure you can come over?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes. I'm sure. Are you okay?"

He seemed off, like he was a second behind in his reactions. She sniffed the air, trying to place the smell that faintly hung in the car, it was familiar.

"I'm good," Fitz assured. "I'm just so surprised you called."

"I'm trying, Fitz. I'm trying to let you in."

Fitz grinned, it overtook his face so much that it was almost goofy.

"That's all I can ask is that you try. Buckle up."

She did as she was told, and Fitz pulled off of the curb, doing a U turn and heading back in the way he'd come.

"Awe, I like that song," Olivia commented on the Crowded House song that had just begun to peter off.

"I do too, I have the tape at home."

"Really? I wouldn't have pegged you for an Australian rock kinda guy."

Fitz shrugged as they breezed through a stoplight. "Australian rock is just regular rock at the end of the day."

Olivia turned in her seat to double check that Fitz had just blown the stoplight.

"Uh, you sure you're okay? That was a stoplight."

"Was it? I didn't even notice. I guess I could still be a little out of it."

"Really? From this morning?"

Fitz shrugged noncommittally as they arrived in front of a gate.

"This is your house?" She asked, watching Fitz punch in an access code.

"Yes, my parents are very showy. They added the gate when we moved here."

Olivia sniffed the air again and realized where she'd smelled the smell before. Quinn had dated a pot dealer earlier that year, and Olivia had tried a puff or two at one of the only parties she'd allowed herself to be dragged to that year.

"Fitz, are you high?" She asked, as Fitz pulled around the circular driveway.

Fitz didn't answer her as he shut off the car and climbed out of the car. He went to Olivia's side and pulled it open, holding out his hand.

"Livvie, please come inside."

"Are you high?" Olivia asked again.

Fitz sighed and kneeled down in front of her. "Do you trust me?"

Olivia felt like he was asking way more than he appeared to be asking.

"Fitz,"

"Livvie. Do. You. Trust. Me?"

Olivia regarded him cautiously and warily. "Yes,"

"Then take my hand, and come inside." Fitz urged, holding his hand out again. She rolled her eyes and unbuckled her seatbelt. She took his outstretched hand, and slammed the car door behind her as he pulled her inside.

Fitz took a key from his back pocket and unlocked a top and bottom lock, pushing open double doors and stepping aside to allow Olivia to enter ahead of him. Once she was inside he shut and locked the door.

"Cece! Are you home?" Fitz called up the dark wood staircase, taking Olivia's hand again.

"No, son. I think your sister is out," Fitz turned toward the study, which was to the left of the entryway.

"Father," Fitz said, both stiffly and in surprise.

"Son. Who is this?" Jerry asked, motioning to Olivia, who noticed Fitz's aversion to his father right away.

"This is Olivia Pope, Father. She's my girlfriend."

Olivia raised her eyebrow at Fitz's choice of words. Though she didn't exactly object to them, she wasn't sure if they were correct.

"Ah. Hello, Olivia. Fitzgerald mentioned that you two had a date. How did that go?"

"Do you actually want to know, Father or are you just being polite?"

Fitz asked cuttingly. Jerry smiled, and Olivia saw their resemblance in that moment. He looked like Fitz, but in the way that Fitz's smile was almost goofy and warm, Jerry's was foreboding and reproachful.

"I asked, didn't I?"

Jerry replied, surveying Olivia with interested eyes.

"It went great," Fitz replied in monotone. "We had a nice time, thanks for asking. Where's Mom?"

"She and I had a gala tonight, we came home early. Don't worry we're flying out first thing, wouldn't want you to have to deal with us for more than twenty-four hours." Jerry jested, winking at Olivia as if they shared some sort of private joke.

"How considerate." Fitz answered.

"I'm just waiting up for Cecilia, then I'll be headed to bed." Jerry added.

Fitz squeezed Olivia's hand, as if alerting them that they were ready to go. Fitz led them toward the staircase, but turned around to address his father a last time.

"Did you check her room, father?"

Jerry, who was still wearing his tuxedo, and carrying a crystal glass of clear liquid shrugged.

"I hadn't thought of that. I'll finish my nightcap and swing on by. Who knows? She could have been there all along."

"Most likely," Fitz agreed, pulling Olivia upstairs.

"Nice meeting you, Mr. Grant." Olivia yelled as Fitz's hold on her hand moved her upstairs faster than she would have attempted them.

Fitz intertwined their fingers securely as he padded down the hallway, past a room with a large purple 'C' on it, and stopped at his door, a green 'F' hung on the door, and it was just ten or twelve paces from Cecelia's room, on the opposite sides of the hallway.

Fitz turned the knob and ushered Olivia inside, flicking on the light as he shut and locked it.

"If I don't lock it, my father will try to come in and talk to us again. And I've had just about enough of him for the night. "

Olivia nodded in understanding as she stood in the center of his large room, rubbing her hands up and down her arms protectively.

"Is he always like that?" Olivia asked of his father.

"Since before I can remember, and then some probably,"

Fitz responded, kicking his dress shoes off and shrugging out of his jacket. Olivia hadn't noticed that he was still wearing his school uniform.

"Are you gonna answer me now?"

She asked, not moving an inch toward where Fitz was undressing. Truthfully, she was nervous to be in a locked room with him, with less than suitable parental supervision. But he seemed to be keeping his intentions hidden, if he had any. He unbuttoned his shirt, exposing his tattooed back that she remembered seeing the day they'd met. He didn't hesitate to pull on a clean black shirt from his middle drawer, and a pair of plaid pajama bottoms from another drawer. His feet were bare.

Olivia watched him, waiting for him to answer his question. Fitz held out his arms for Olivia as he collapsed on the edge of his bed.

She shot him a knowing look, and Fitz dropped his arms in defeat.

"Yes, Livvie. I smoked a joint today because I was upset that we had a fight. I was upset that your father punched me and I went and got some pot and I smoked it. Is that what you wanted me to say?"

Olivia groaned, hating that he'd told her.

"Yes. And no. I wanted you to argue with me. I didn't want you to tell me that easily. Why did you have to cooperate?"

Fitz chuckled.

"So you want me to be difficult? You want me to lie to you?"

"Why not? I lie to you," Olivia admitted meekly. Fitz's expression didn't change.

"You don't lie to me, you just tell me absolutely nothing. It's a sin of omission. Still frustrating, though."

"I want to be open with you. I want to try, but I'm not wrong to question the possibility of this turning into something real."

Fitz held out his hand again, and she took it, reluctantly, allowing him to pull her into her lap. She felt the butterflies as soon as he embraced her, hugging her around the waist and burying his head in the crook of her neck.

"This is already real, I think you know that."

Olivia could feel the moment turning, she knew he could hear her heart beating faster and faster. For once, she was resolved to do what she wanted, she wanted Fitz. Slowly, and with shaking limbs, she pulled his face to hers and ran her finger along his lower lip.

"I'm scared, Fitz." Olivia told him, asking him with her eyes to be easy on her.

"I'm scared too," Fitz echoed, leaning into Olivia's kiss.

She'd never kissed anyone before, and yet she knew what to do as soon as their lips met. Her mouth moved blissfully against his, their kisses deepening as the moments passed. Fitz, held onto her firmly, taking his time to fully appreciate how amazing kissing her was, how plump and soft they were, and how much she seemed to be giving him, as her tongue asked to be granted permission into his mouth.

She gripped his face, her hands roaming and pulling occasionally, the light brown hairs at the base of his neck, and then his ears. He groaned as she continued to explore him, and did his best to allow her every liberty. Fitz was ready to pull her into a full straddle as a hard knock came at his door, and Fitz and Olivia snapped apart, startled. Fitz stood, and Olivia got to her feet from his standing.

"Fitzgerald, get out here!" Fitz turned back to Olivia, who still looked slightly dazed from their intense make out session.

Fitz unlocked the door and stepped out into the hallway, Olivia following close behind. Cece stood, with a sheet from her bed wrapped around her. Cece's hair was messy, and she wore an expression that crossed between embarrassment, mortification and annoyance. Olivia noticed the girl that held Cece's hand, a similarly attired raven haired beauty. She looked confused, as Jerry motioned to the girls.

"Fitzgerald, Cece tells me you know about this."

Fitz began to answer, but stopped as he noticed his mother, Caroline, who had emerged from she and Jerry's room on the other end of the hall. She was tying her robe and her eyes were groggy, but as she stumbled upon the dramatic scene, she crossed her arms in alarm.

"Jerry, what is going on?"

Jerry turned to Fitz, clearly deflecting the question to his son. "I don't know. Fitzgerald why don't you explain to your mother what's happening."

Caroline, Cece, Jerry, Olivia and Cece's girlfriend looked to Fitz, who rolled his eyes, took Olivia's hand for support and started to explain.

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_

 _ **So this chapter was definitely packed full of twists and turns! As promised, Cece's reveal to Fitz in the previous episode is going to have lasting effects on the Grant family going forward. Fitz's family dynamics are going to change, because Cece is seen as the golden girl in the family, and clearly being a lesbian is going to worry parent's Grant.**_

 _ **We also learn just how closed off Olivia is, and how much is affecting her relationships, even with Abby, who continues to support her despite the concrete wall she has up. Finally Fitz meets Poppa Pope, and he's definitely confused as to why he proceeds to hit him. Though Olivia hasn't fully explained her home situation, she vows to try, and that's an important step for her, but Rome wasn't built in a day, let's hope she can balance out her blossoming feelings for Fitz with the anxiety she feels about her father.**_ _ **Also, Jackson 'Rowan' Pope is getting worse; he has good days and bad, and we got to see one of his especially bad days. We also learn about Maya's infidelity before she died and that is also something that Olivia discovers as its happening, and she is going to have to come to terms with that.**_

 ** _Also, Fitz smokes a joint, in some social circles that is harmless, and Olivia will probably let him slide on it because he was upset, but is it a one time thing? Or a indicator to future behavior? Also, Olivia and Fitz have their first real kiss, though it is interrupted by the pending drama. We also have Fitz calling Olivia his girlfriend, which Olivia doesn't correct._**

 ** _Next chapter we'll get some fluff, as well as some more Parent's Grant. We'll also get some of Fitz's brother, Kennedy and we'll see Olivia trying to do some research into her mother. It's going to get angsty going forward (a little bit more than it already is!)- Olivia will start to form a habit of her own, and Fitz will start to feel some pressure from his parents._**

 ** _Let me know what you thought of the chapter! And thank you to Lowerysissy, Kelleekellkell, KikiNickMc, LoreneMichelle41, Noro and the guests that reviewed the last chapter! I read each and every review that I receive, and I do take them into account and as feedback while writing! The support and feedback means more than you guys know! Thanks for commenting, and I hope you enjoyed reading!_**

 ** _Avis_**

 ** _xoxo_**


	6. Yearbooks & Initials

Olivia flipped through the fifth yearbook that she'd discovered rummaging through her mother's old things. She hadn't stumbled upon them so innocently, in fact she'd been looking for some clues about who her mother actually was; her father's confused encounter with Fitz stuck with her, and she couldn't let it go. The only real indication that her mother had ever existed at all was in the boxes that Olivia desperately labored over. She wasn't finding much, and that frustrated her. She sat back on her heels, squeezing her eyes shut to try to remember the last time she'd talked to her mother, it hadn't really been all that long ago. Maya died when Olivia was twelve, and while her father maintained the household for two years following her death, he began to deteriorate at an accelerated rate around the time that Olivia turned fifteen.

When Olivia realized she couldn't remember their last conversation, she moved on to try to remember her voice. Olivia nearly crumpled into the boxes as she tried to force her memory into conjuring her mother's voice. A whisper, an octave, a surprised utterance, anything. Olivia found that she remembered nothing, she barely remembered her mother's beautiful face. It really hadn't been that long ago, and Olivia hated herself for not remembering, for not clinging onto those last pieces of her mother. Her death was abrupt, and slow at the same time. After she died, her father told her that she'd had an aggressive form of breast cancer that she hid from Olivia for most of her life.

As Olivia opened her eyes, she noticed the last of the yearbooks, buried at the bottom of the box, and flipped over, as if her mother had gone out of her way to make the book unnoticeable. Olivia carefully lifted the book from the box and opened it, noticing the same emblem that was engraved on the previous three yearbooks; it was from a school in Pennsylvania, where her mother had gone to high school. Olivia almost didn't want to open the book, but her curiosity and desperation to know more about her mother drove her to throw open the cover of the book. The inside jacket cover was laden with numerous hastened signatures, messages and doodles. Someone had drawn a dragon in the lower left hand corner with hearts for eyes. In the tiny foot of the doodled dragon, there were sloppy initials: SLB. Olivia's heart stopped for some unknown reason, as she tried to ignore the dragon. She flipped through the glossy pages of the yearbook, and noticed a slight opening, as if there was a bookmark in the middle of the book. Olivia flipped it open and bit her lip in surprise.

 _It's me_.

It was, Olivia's unmistakable smile and big bright eyes were there, as baby Olivia was being cradled by a man she didn't recognize. Olivia carefully rubbed a finger on the edge of the picture as she pushed it aside, looking at the man whose senior picture featurette was entrapped in a pen-drawn heart. Olivia nearly held her breath as she flipped the picture over, but found the underside to be blank. She shook her head, trying to calm herself as she quickly stuffed the picture back in where she'd found it and threw the rest of the yearbooks back in the box.

Olivia pushed the yearbook to her chest and hurried down the ladder from the attic and pushing the collapsible ladder back up into its resting place. Olivia took the steps two at a time and phoned Fitz, knowing that he would answer on the first ring since he'd gotten his new cellphone. It was convenient for times when she needed to reach him, she realized.

As Olivia had hoped, Fitz answered nearly right away.

"Livvie."

Fitz greeted, his voice sounded like the offness that Olivia had begun to regard as normal; he was high. After his parents discovered that their precious Cecilia was "experimenting with her sexuality" as they called it, the blowback was all on Fitz. They blamed him for not alerting them of Cecelia's potentially dangerous behavior, and Fitz took to smoking more and more, Olivia almost didn't mind; she knew how much pressure he'd been under the past two weeks. They'd tried not to let the various chaos of their family lives affect the way they felt about each other. Olivia held on to Fitz while her father had gone crazy, searching for his car keys in Olivia's room, nearly tearing it apart before Olivia's pleading reminders that he didn't drive finally reached him. Olivia had seriously considered Fitz's words as she told him what her father had done.

"Livvie, you can't help him. You need to take him to someone who can."

Olivia didn't want to consider her life without her father, even though he had been okay earlier that day when Michelle arrived, he would only get worse. Olivia had to remind herself of that the previous Monday, when he'd woken up early and made her breakfast, her favorite breakfast of French toast with strawberry compote. It wasn't until Olivia had finished her breakfast and told her father thanks that he commented about her never calling him Daddy before, and how much he liked it. Olivia realized he'd thought Olivia was Maya the whole time.

"Fitz, are you too stoned to come and get me?" Olivia asked, looking around her as she said the words carefully into the receiver.

"Never, Livvie. I'm not too far away. Are you ready now?"

"Yes, the sooner the better. Can I spend the night?"

"Maybe. My parents are back from Kenya tonight. I told you my mom took a leave from her job and she's planning to be home most of the time now, my Dad's still traveling for his job, but it's mostly smooching. My mom should be knocked out by ten. I'm sure it's okay. Are you asking Michelle to stay the night?"

Olivia didn't like to make a habit of staying with Fitz overnight, and while the three nights they'd spent in the same bed were comforting and a breath of fresh air, she didn't want to move too fast. Their kisses were more than enough for her, for now. She could hardly imagine sex with Fitz when his kisses nearly made her burst.

"No. My Dad will be okay. I'm going to leave Michelle a note."

"Okay. Well, I'll be there in five."

"Fitz! Get off the phone when you're driving." Fitz chuckled at Olivia's chiding.

"Get ready, I'm coming," Fitz told her, then hung up.

Olivia placed the phone back on the receiver, and hastily scribbled a note to Michelle, and left it by her paycheck that she'd had to write earlier that morning. She'd been managing all of their bills since before her father got sick, he was horrible at managing money, but Olivia found it easier than she should have. Her father's pension combined with her mother's life insurance kept them afloat, and Olivia's partial scholarship helped with her school. Olivia hated to think what would happen when they ran out of money. She shook the idea out of her head and climbed the stairs, heading straight into her room and stuffing a clean uniform skirt, sweater and knee highs into her backpack. She pushed the yearbook in too and searched for a pair of clean underwear as she heard the doorbell ring.

She loved that Fitz always rushed over to get her. Olivia gave her room the once over, hoping she hadn't forgotten anything as she closed the door and jogged down the stairs. She opened the door and took in Fitz, who was smiling dreamily at her. Olivia disliked that he was high, but she threw her arms around his neck anyway, pulling him down onto her lips for a kiss. He responded, his tongue swiping over her bottom lip as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Their kisses were slow and lazy. She took her time kissing him, wanting to feel his arms around her, and his body pressed against hers for as long as possible. But, all too soon he broke away from her, and kissed her on her forehead, then on her right eyelid as her eyes fluttered open.

"This is… good." Olivia commented, smiling shyly up at Fitz.

Fitz returned her adoring smile. "It is good. It's the best."

Her grin grew as she buried her face in Fitz's chest.

"Where's your Dad?" Fitz asked after a beat passed.

"He's at the bookstore with Michelle. She left a message on the machine saying that he was reading in a corner and she didn't want to bring him home just yet. I left the note. We should go before he gets back."

Fitz pulled her away from his chest and studied her for a moment, before taking her hand and guiding her toward his car.

Olivia got into the passenger side as Fitz closed the door and walked over to the driver's side. Olivia held her backpack in her lap, trying to shake the feeling of apprehension she felt about discovering who SLB was. She didn't want to delve too deep into her mother's past, and possibly ruin the idea she had of her, but Olivia couldn't help it. She wanted Fitz to tell her what he thought, she wanted him to tell her she wasn't crazy for wondering.

Fitz started on the familiar ten minute car ride toward his house.

"I guess I made you soft," Olivia joked, leaning her head on the headrest and looking toward him.

Fitz smirked, keeping his eyes on the road. "How do you figure?"

"You haven't driven your motorcycle in almost a month." Olivia reported. Fitz laughed at her observation.

"Well I have precious cargo, don't I?" Fitz responded, turning a corner. Olivia squinted at him in disbelief.

"You sure that's the reason? If it is, don't let me stop you from doing something you like, I'll learn to ride on the back of a motorcycle." Fitz chuckled as he rolled his window down and punched in the gate code.

"I bet you will. But that's not the point. I'm okay driving my car. My motorcycle was more of an image thing." Fitz admitted, unbuckling his seatbelt once they'd pulled into the circular driveway. Olivia raised her eyebrow in surprise.

"Fitzgerald Grant, do you mean to tell me that you are a fake bad boy?"

Fitz smiled, almost nostalgically. "No… the tattoos are real, aren't they?" Olivia rolled her eyes as Fitz left the car.

"Coming?" Fitz asked, holding open her door.

Fitz's bed was comfortable, and lately it was the only place Olivia looked forward to going. She could barely stand school, as Quinn had started to avoid talking to her one on one, and she was the number one topic of gossip since the word had got out about her and Fitz. Olivia hated to be talked about, and while it wasn't exactly affecting her performance in school, it had certainly distracted her. Olivia laid on her side, spooning with Fitz, the door to his bedroom firmly locked. His parents had never actually walked in on them, and even if they had they might have witnessed Olivia beating Fitz at a game of Crazy Eight's or their nightly homework sessions, when Olivia buried herself in her work across the room from Fitz.

Olivia had never felt so comfortable, and she felt no need to rush the more intimate details of their relationship, Olivia felt confident that they'd get there, naturally.

Fitz kissed Olivia's neck, alerting her that he was still awake.

"Fitz?" Olivia asked a moment later, playing with one of his long fingers that held her waist.

"Livvie?" Fitz answered, ready for the conversation that she wanted to have.

"Remember when my Dad hit you?"

"How could I possibly forget that?" Fitz replied dryly. Liv swatted his hand playfully.

"He thought you were someone that my Mom was cheating with. And since then, I haven't been able to get that out of my mind."

Fitz paused a moment before turning Olivia over in his arms, he met her eyes.

"Olivia, this is… something you might not want to pursue."

"Why not? It's my business if my mom was a cheater. I have a right to know!"

Fitz gripped Olivia by her arms, she'd sat up in a defensive position.

"Livvie, your father is sick, he is in and out all the time, isn't that what you told me? You said he doesn't even recognize you sometimes. Maybe he was confused. Or, maybe he was just paranoid when your Mom was alive. None of that proves that he knew for a fact that your Mom was a cheater. You can't take his word for it."

Olivia shook her head in frustration and leaned over the side of Fitz's bed, retrieving her bookbag.

"Here, look at this," Olivia challenged, shoving the yearbook at Fitz. Fitz sat up fully and took the book, Olivia had opened it to the cover page, and pointed to the dragon.

"Look!" Olivia commanded, urging Fitz to study the doodling.

Fitz examined the drawing closely, and dropped the yearbook a moment later. "Okay, so who is 'SLB'? You think he's your Mom's secret lover?"

Olivia stared at him warningly. "Maybe. I'll appreciate it if you drop the sarcasm."

Fitz held up his hands defensively. "Okay, so all you have to go on is a doodle of a dragon?"

Olivia shot Fitz another glare and flipped to the picture of her and the man. "And this picture,"

Fitz picked up the almost perfectly preserved photo. He grinned at the photo then at Olivia.

"You were adorable," Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Look at the man who's holding me, okay? That's the point of the picture."

"You think he's 'SLB'?" Fitz inquired, studying the man closely, then looking back at the page that the picture had been on.

"I don't know. Probably. I guess that's the safest bet."

"It's a really safe bet, look." Fitz eagerly replied, pointing to the senior portrait of Samuel Lorenz Berkley.

"SLB." Olivia said aloud. "I'm so stupid,"

Fitz closed the book.

"How are you stupid? You just connected a dot, now you just have to find out who he is to your Mom."

"I saw that my Mom had drawn a heart around his picture, I didn't even read who he was. I'm not even focusing lately."

"Livvie, calm down. You're not stupid, you're distracted. It's not hard to see why." Olivia felt tears forming.

"Fitz, what if… what if my Mom was really a cheater? What if she cheated with this guy the whole time I knew her?"

Fitz watched Olivia crumple into herself, her wall shaking, she was vulnerable and Fitz knew how hard that was for her. She was letting him in, Fitz pulled Olivia into his chest and stroked her hair that was pulled up into a bun; she pulled away from his chest and peered up at him through tear filled eyes.

"You can't judge your Mom on what she drew in her high school yearbook. How old was she when she met your father?"

Olivia shrugged; her father had 'cleansed' the house of all but one picture of her mother, and she hadn't seen their wedding photos since he'd done so.

"Maybe… twenty five? Twenty six? I don't know, I never asked my Dad."

"Well, let's say she met him when she was twenty five, she was eighteen when she was with this guy, and there's not a good chance that they were even in contact let alone together when she met your Dad."

Olivia knew that Fitz was trying to make her feel better, but she couldn't help but think about their relationship. How in love had her mother been with Samuel? Had she thought there was a possibility that they were going to end up together?

"But he was holding me, Fitz. They were definitely in contact when I was a baby. There's no way that she just showed up on his doorstep and introduced him to her baby with another man. There's more to this that we're just not seeing."

"And you expect to find it? How?"

"I don't know, Fitz. But I need just a little bit of support, here. I already feel weird about looking into this, I don't need you telling me outright."

Fitz squeezed her tighter, but Olivia could barely feel any comfort.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want you to get too involved with this, you're already so wrecked about your Dad, and one more thing is just going to be too much," Fitz replied tenderly, stroking Olivia's arm.

Olivia fell into the silence, trying to gather her thoughts. She was overwhelmed, and there were way too many decisions and problems in her life. She couldn't fix them, and she wanted to believe in her and Fitz, but if he didn't, how could she?

"Fitzgerald! I need you out here,"

Fitz groaned, knocking his head back in dread as his mother summoned him.

"I'm sorry," Fitz apologized. "Want to come out with me?" Fitz asked next.

"Who are you talking to, Fitzgerald? If that's Olivia tell her to come out." Olivia fought back a smile as Fitz shot her an annoyed look.

"We're coming, Mother!" Fitz called back, so that his mother would retreat.

Caroline had taken an interest in Olivia, who was nothing but well-mannered, polite and intriguing. However Caroline seemed to see her as if she was an exotic bird fit for dissection and study.

"I know you don't like my mother," Fitz told her, as she stood up and searched for her shoes.

"I never said I didn't like your mother," Olivia replied, laughing, on hands and knees searching for her shoes.

"Fitz, your room is massive, I can't find my shoes,"

Fitz raised an eyebrow, Olivia noticed he was barefoot. "Don't worry about it,"

"Fitz, I can't wander around your house with no shoes and socks on."

"Why not?"

"Because, your house is like a museum, and I don't walk around those barefoot."

Fitz laughed, but Olivia was serious. "Fitz, just lend me some socks,"

"Fitzgerald!" Caroline called again. Fitz rolled his eyes.

"Top drawer, hurry down, okay?"

Olivia arrived at the foot of the stairs minutes later, hearing Fitz's voice in the kitchen. She had only been in the kitchen once; they'd been served each of the other times. Despite her comfort in Fitz's room, the rest of his house was so cold, marble floors and beige walls, furniture that hardly looked sat in, and the occasional member of the staff wandering around. Olivia's house wasn't small, but it paled in comparison to Fitz's family's estate. Olivia preferred to stay in Fitz's room, where it felt a little normal.

"Mom, I'm not sick, I'm not confused, and you need to just drop it."

Olivia drifted into the living room, which was a room away from the kitchen, and heard Cecelia's voice rise, angry at her mother once again. Olivia couldn't be sure what the latest development was, but it seemed almost soap opera-ish how much their parents were overreacting.

"Mother, calm down, we're not sending Cece away just because she's not doing what you want her to do."

"It's not about her disobeying your father and me! It's about the recklessness in her choices. She's in no way mature enough to make the decisions she's making."

Olivia couldn't take another step without entering the kitchen, but there was a lull in the conversation as Caroline fumed, and Olivia stepped into the kitchen tentatively.

Fitz rescued her from an awkward entrance, and held out his hand for her to take. Caroline observed their interaction, and scowled, crinkling the corners of her eyes.

"Are you done, Fitzgerald?" Caroline asked cuttingly, as Fitz pulled his eyes away from Olivia.

"I've asked Kennedy and Julie over for dinner. If Olivia is staying, she'd better change."

Olivia examined her pair of black tights and Fitz's large 'Melton Hill Prep' sweatshirt. She did look too casual to dine in the formal living room, Caroline hadn't been entirely rude.

"Since Olivia's coming, that means I can invite Alyssa?"

Caroline's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Is that _her_?"

"My girlfriend? Yes, Mom. That's _her_."

Caroline stared at Cece for a long moment. "Your father is flying in tomorrow night, he'll decide if Alyssa can come over, but I wouldn't hold your breath for much of a warm welcome."

* * *

"Well that was the most awkward experience I've ever had at a dinner table,"

Kennedy admitted, knocking back the remainder of his glass of Brandy. Olivia agreed, though her experience with drama at the dinner table was hardly numerous.

"Well, Mom guzzling her weight in Chardonnay was more than awkward on its own." Cece added. "Just mentioning Alyssa was enough to drive Mom to drink."

Olivia helped Cece wash the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, as the housekeeper had fled the premises after Caroline had thrown a crystal goblet in her immediate direction.

"She's losing it," Fitz said, as Kennedy looked longingly at his now empty glass.

"She's more than losing it," Cece replied, rolling her eyes and taking Fitz's car keys from the granite countertop.

"I'm heading over to Alyssa's. Maybe Mom will stop hitting the bottle if I'm gone for the night."

"I doubt it, but it's worth a try." Kennedy told her, as Cece stuck her tongue out at him and left a moment later.

"Why is Dad flying back so much lately? Just because of Cece's experimentation?"

Fitz watched as Olivia finished loading the dishwasher and took her seat at the island. The problems of the Grant family slightly interested her, but her mind was still swimming with thoughts of Samuel and her mother. She wanted to dash upstairs to retrieve the photo, just to study his face more. She wondered if she'd met him, and hadn't recognized him. She watched Fitz talking to his brother, but all she heard was her father's words in her ear, her father's manic rambling words, and she hated that he sprung things on her. His episodes were affecting her life, more than they should. She couldn't stop imagining that Samuel was the love of her mother's life, and that her mother had wanted to run away with Samuel, and she wanted to take Olivia.

"You need to grow up, Fitz. Dad and Mom have a right to be upset, everything they thought about Cece is different. They probably feel like they don't know her at all. And yes, I think Mom is being dramatic, but I don't think that her reaction is completely unexpected."

Fitz looked over to Olivia, who was clearly zoned out, staring out of the window, completely past Kennedy and Fitz.

"Livvie, are you tired?"

Olivia's focus returned to Fitz, she glanced over at Kennedy, who seemed to be realizing that she was there for the first time.

"Sort of. Preoccupied, I guess. Can I stay over?"

"Sure, why don't you shower and I'll be up later."

"Okay." Olivia agreed, hopping down from the chair. "Night, Kennedy." Olivia called over her shoulder as she left the kitchen.

Fitz turned back to Kennedy, who had watched Olivia go with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Are you two that serious? A month ago you were just going on your first date," Kennedy observed.

"We're dating. She's only slept here a handful of times and we're both going through stuff."

"And if you get her pregnant, that's one more thing they have to be dramatic about."

"We're not having sex, Kennedy. We're taking it slow, we just like being together, is that so wrong? I remember you sneaking Julie into your room back in California."

Kennedy rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through his perfectly coifed hair.

"Julie _did_ get pregnant, Fitz. That's why I'm telling you to be careful. I see that you're in love with her, and it's not hard to get physical with someone you love. But the last thing you need is to get trapped by her."

Fitz sat up from his leisurely position against the island, and got into Kennedy's face, angry at his brother's words.

"She's not that type of girl, you asshole. Don't act like you know me, or my girlfriend, because you don't. She would never do anything like that."

Kennedy took in Fitz, who was almost taller than him, and stared into his eyes, full of conviction.

"I thought I knew Julie. I was wrong. I'm telling you because I care about you, Fitz. She doesn't have money like we do, and she knew that you were wealthy, there's no way that's not a factor for her."

Fitz shoved Kennedy without a second thought. "Stay the fuck away from her, okay? Just because you decided to marry the girl who trapped you, doesn't mean that's what's happening with me and Liv. It's not what's happening."

Kennedy shook his head angrily. "Sure, Fitz."

Instead of exiting through the kitchen door, Kennedy headed out toward the main stairs, Fitz followed him.

"Did you need something else?"

"The bathroom, Fitz. Am I not allowed to use the bathroom now?"

Fitz crossed his arms as he watched Kennedy climb the stairs. "There's a bathroom down here, in case you forgot."

"I'll just be a minute," Kennedy called.

Olivia pulled on Fitz's gray t-shirt that she'd slept in the previous times she'd slept over. She almost wanted to turn her brain off, the constant thoughts were killing her. She looked up from her dressing to see Kennedy, standing in the doorway.

"Sorry," he apologized, noticing Olivia's bare legs.

Olivia jumped and pushed her legs under Fitz's comforter. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Kennedy countered.

"What are you talking about?" Olivia asked, confused beyond belief; Kennedy had been nothing but polite and even a little bit playful, but his tone was more than accusatory, and he was regarding her critically.

"My brother likes to believe that people are who they say they are, but I know better."

"Kennedy, does Fitz know you're up here?"

"I'm not staying, I'm just telling you that you need to be careful with my brother. He's in love with you. And you can hurt him if you wanted to, it'd be easy."

"Livvie! Want anything from the kitchen?"

Olivia stared at Kennedy, unsure of what she was supposed to say. Liv heard Fitz's shoes on the staircase.

"No, Fitz. I'm fine."

Fitz's footsteps stopped, then headed back down the stairs.

Kennedy took a last look at Olivia and headed out of Fitz's room.

* * *

Despite falling asleep in Fitz's arms, Olivia woke up feeling groggy and disoriented, the opposite of how sleeping with Fitz usually made her feel. By the time she'd arrived in her first period class, she was downright burnt out. Olivia's focus was nonexistent, but she'd managed to get a decent grade on a pop quiz in her history class. And, as if her day couldn't get any more exhausting, Jacob Ballard appeared at her locker. Olivia hardly had any energy to combat his advances, but he'd virtually been a ghost since their disaster of a date, so Olivia knew he'd sought her out specifically.

"Olivia Pope finally found her type, huh?"

"Jake, please go away."

Jake raised his eyebrow scandalously as he leaned against her neighboring locker.

"Rough night?"

Olivia stopped putting books into her bag and gave him the dirtiest look she could muster, but it wasn't enough to deter Jake.

"You and Fitz coming to my party tonight? I'm hosting with your friend, Quinn." Olivia groaned in annoyance.

"No, I'm pretty sure we'll have to miss it,"

Jake grinned as Olivia shut her locker door. Jake followed her as she started off toward the parking lot to meet Fitz. She had to go home to check on her father, but she felt herself dreading being alone.

"Well, here's a party favor, there'll be more if you change your mind." Olivia felt Jake slip something into the small pocket of her backpack.

"I won't, but thanks, Jake. Can you make yourself scarce now?"

"I'd be offended, if you weren't so cute."

Olivia stopped at the door to the parking lot.

"Jake. Go, away. I'm with Fitz now,"

Jake stepped back. "I know who you're with. I'm just trying to help you out with all this stress."

"Stress? How do you know anything about me?"

Jake's expression was more than amused, Olivia turned to see Fitz twenty yards away, leaning against his car, waiting for Olivia.

"Same way I know that you could stand to pop a few of those." Jake motioned to Olivia's backpack. Olivia stared at Jake a long moment before letting her backpack strap slide down her arm. She unzipped the compartment and pulled out a plastic baggie with the top knotted. Olivia dumped the contents of the baggie- five pills- into her hand.

"You gave me aspirin?"

Jake laughed good-naturedly.

"They're some of my mom's Xanax, she's always so damn anxious. They help with her stress too. She take two of these bad boys and its smooth sailing. She's so peaceful and calm."

"I call bull." Olivia replied, angry that Jake would shove his mother's pills on her.

"You can call bull all you want, but what I just gave you goes for almost fifty on the street."

"So you're suggesting I sell them, Jake? Trying to turn me into a pill pusher?"

Jake pushed his hand onto Olivia's arm, attempting to reassure her, to little avail.

"I'm telling you to relax. If you can do that without the pills, then I commend you. But if not, you have another option. I'm just trying to be helpful."

Jake smiled at Olivia a last time before walking in the opposite direction. Olivia shoved the pills back in the bag, and tied the bag off and pushed it into her sweater pocket.

Trying to shake off her encounter with Jake, Olivia pushed open the door and smiled as Fitz noticed her, his entire face lighting up, as she threw herself into her arms and kissed her forehead.

"How was the rest of your day?" Fitz inquired, Olivia noted that he'd already shed his worn in uniform sweater and loosened his tie.

"Since you saw me an hour and a half ago? Horrible." Fitz kissed her nose, and leaned back, the sun hitting his face, causing Fitz to smile in satisfaction.

"I just want to soak up how amazing this moment is," Fitz commented. "Because the rest of the day is going to be shitty, I already know."

"How could you know that?" Olivia asked, giggling at Fitz's pessimism.

"Dinner with my parents is tonight, and my Dad wants Alyssa to come. And I have to take you home, so I can't be with you all night."

Olivia realized this too, she had been invited to dine with the Grants, but leaving her father alone for another night just wasn't an option.

"Wow. I didn't even think about that," Olivia replied, feeling more down than she had been.

"We'll be able to be together tomorrow, at least." Fitz responded soothingly.

"I just have to stay home with my father all night, and hope that he doesn't freak out on me again, it's getting more and more frequent."

"You call me if you need me. For anything, okay? I'll come and get you no matter what time. I know how you've been lately. Don't get so overwhelmed that you forget that I'm here, okay?"

Olivia blinked, not making eye contact with Fitz. "Okay."

Fitz pulled her chin up, so that they were eye to eye. "Promise me that you'll call if you need me, Livvie."

"Fitz, I promise I'll call if I need you." Olivia vowed, trying to believe it herself.

Fitz nodded, mollified and released her, clearly ready to drive her home.

* * *

Dinner had gone well, and though her father had been more than quiet, he seemed to be in tune with reality, and hadn't started acting out. But Olivia didn't want to push her luck. She abandoned the dinner dishes on the table and helped her father upstairs and into his bedroom. Michelle had already gotten him ready for bed; he only really needed someone to supervise him and be there if he needed anything. As her father had reminded her not that long ago; he wasn't an invalid.

Olivia couldn't help but linger as her father made himself comfortable in bed. She glanced at the picture that her father kept on his nightstand of himself, Maya and Olivia. Olivia noticed that it was facedown.

Her curiosity got the better of her, as she watched her father drifting in and out of sleep.

"Daddy?" Olivia began, her voice unsteady.

Jackson's eyes fluttered open as he noticed Olivia. Olivia searched for any change in his eyes, but found none.

"Daddy, does the name Samuel mean anything to you? Samuel Lorenz Berkley?"

Jackson blinked, his eyes dipping low again.

"Yes." He replied a moment later, after his eyes had nearly closed.

"Do you know him?" Olivia pressed, making it a point to keep her distance from her father.

"I've met him before, doesn't mean I know him."

Olivia was unsure how much more prodding she could do before her father drifted from reality again, she hoped she didn't get close, she could barely take it if her father had another episode.

But still, Olivia pushed him.

"Daddy. Where did you meet Samuel?"

"I followed her, one day. She had you and I followed her."

"Where did she take me?"

"To see him." Her father answered simply, not looking at her.

"I knew, of course I always knew. But I didn't want to think about it. It didn't matter to me. Until I saw him."

"You knew that Mom was… cheating on you?" Olivia could almost feel her father's tolerance for the conversation disintegrating, she held her breath, hoping he would answer.

"I could never prove that. I had suspicions, but I could never prove it."

"Okay… so you followed her, why?"

"Because she took you to see him and she swore she wouldn't. She told me it was over. And she lied,"

Olivia was impatient now, she was close to the truth, and she knew it.

"Dad. Why did she take me to see Samuel? What for? If you say she wasn't cheating with him, then why?"

Jackson turned his head, and squinted at Olivia, almost like he didn't recognize her anymore.

 _Oh no,_ Olivia screamed internally.

"Maya."

"Dad. Don't do this. You were about to tell me. Please come back and tell me."

Jackson blinked again.

"I told you not to take her, Maya."

Olivia shook her head, storming toward her father in frustration. She climbed onto his bed and held his hand firmly, letting him know that she was there.

"Dad. It's Olivia. I'm here. I need you to finish what you were telling me. You need to come back, please. Tell me why Mom took me to see Samuel. Why?"

Jackson stared at Olivia. "You know why you took her, Maya. Why do you want me to say it?" Olivia nearly bit her lip off to hold in the tears.

"Jackson, just say it," Olivia replied, her collar heating up with frustration.

"You took her to see Samuel because he sent you a letter saying he wanted to meet her. I saw the letter. You swore that he would have never been a good father anyway, and we agreed to keep her away from him. We said we were doing what's best for Olivia, but you always had a weak spot for him, didn't you?"

Olivia felt his eyes on her, as if she was an alien, Olivia barely felt the ground under her feet as she stood and backed away from his bed. The room was blurry and out of focus, and Olivia could feel her heart beating dangerously fast. Pulling the door to his room closed, Olivia threw herself down the stairs in a mad dash, and had one hand on the phone receiver before she'd regained her balance. Olivia picket the receiver up, and started to dial Fitz, but felt her mind flooding with thoughts, as she processed what her father had just told her. She could barely begin to breathe, much less talk to Fitz. He was going to explain away her father's words, just as he'd done with 'SLB'. She didn't want to feel like she was crazy. She wanted to stop thinking, to distress.

 _To calm down_. Olivia sunk to the floor, where her bookbag, having been discarded upon entering the house, was. Olivia pulled her crumpled up sweater out of the bag and lifted the small baggie out, staring at the slightly blue pills in apprehension.

She'd read about addiction, and pills, especially Xanax, were proven to be habit forming. Olivia bit her lip, hoping that she'd just naturally calm down, maybe she didn't need Fitz at all.

She stood, still holding the baggie as she turned toward the only picture her father publically displayed of her mother; their first picture as a complete 'family'.

They had always told her that the picture had been taken a few days after she was born, and she'd always believed it, accepting it as truth without even considering that they could be lying to her.

Olivia studied herself; she looked no older in the photo than she had in the one with Samuel.

 _It's all lies._

Olivia realized, pulling the baggie out, and slipping her hand inside to grasp one of the pills. Olivia stared at the picture, noticing more than before the smile on her mother's face. Olivia slipped the pill into her mouth and swallowed it, before she could talk herself out of it.

As she waited for the pill to take effect, she pulled the picture down from the wall, and ran her finger along her mother's smile.

"Who were you?" Olivia wondered aloud, not allowing her eyes to drift over to Jackson; she wouldn't let herself realize that the man she called 'Dad' was a perfect stranger.

Olivia felt her body loosening, as her vison sharpened, and dulled simultaneously.

Sighing, Olivia placed the photo on the end table, facedown.

 _There_ , Olivia thought to herself, _now it really is like you never existed at all._

* * *

 ** _A/N: I think that some of you will be angry with the direction that I've decided to take this story, but originally this fanfic wasn't supposed to exceed five chapters, but I fell in love with this AU and I decided to keep it going. This is angst to the third degree, and reading over this I realize it plays out as kind of soap opera-ish. This chapter had to establish a couple of things, and I wanted to get some fluff in here as well._**

 ** _Olivia and Fitz are thriving, but there is still some distrust going on, particularly when Olivia decides not to call Fitz when she most needs him. Olivia and Fitz are definitely going through it, with Olivia finding out that her father is not her father, and with Fitz being the scapegoat in his family currently._**

 ** _Kennedy makes his first appearance since Chapter Two, and he is none too pleasant. Aside from taking his own issues out on Fitz, he also confronts an already unstable Olivia. Cece's not in this chapter much, but she does influence Fitz's overall disposition, with his weed use continuing. Cece's lax behavior toward the situation will change coming up, once Parent's Grant come to the end of their rope._**

 ** _Also, Jake rears his annoying head to turn the story in a new direction. He addresses Olivia's stress and offers her a solution. I did mention previously that Olivia will develop a habit of her own, but you'll have to wait until next chapter to know if the pills are what I was talking about._**

 ** _Next chapter we will have more Samuel, Fitz's dinner with his parents, a flashback with Olivia and Maya as well as an Olitz fight (I hate writing their fights, it's really hard and I hate it, but they're bickering needs to come to a climax). Jake will make a minor appearance and Abby will save the day._**

 ** _Let me know what you thought in the comments! I read every one and they literally make my day!_**

 ** _xoxo,_**

 ** _Avis_**


	7. Perfect Pope & Monkey Bars

Abby lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling forlornly as she ran her socked feet along her headboard, and made no effort to catch them when they invariably slipped off the wood. She placed her feet back at the top and repeated the process, bored out of her mind. Oliva had been distant lately, all wrapped up in Fitz, and though she was happy that her best friend- _the_ Olivia Pope- could possibly be in love or at the very least in extreme like, she hated that she hardly got to spend any time with her anymore.

"Phone for you, Abby."

Abby didn't move, instead she adjusted her neck to that she could see the head housekeeper, Kathie standing in her doorway, drying her hands on her apron. Abby rolled her eyes.

"If it's not David, I don't care."

Chances are, it wouldn't be David. He'd taken a week off of school to go to Italy with his father. His father was on business, of course, but David was excited at the prospect of spending at least an evening with his father. David had already made a very expensive call from their flat in Florence, and Abby doubted that he would call again until the very end of their trip.

"It's Quinn, she insisted that it was important to talk to you."

Abby sat up, irritated at the mention of Quinn's name- she had ditched her too- for Jake Ballard no less. Olivia hadn't hit it off with him in the least, but Quinn had hoarded a crush on him since she'd first saw him in eighth grade. He was no prize, but Quinn was happy, and Abby had to respect that, though it nauseated her. Abby and David were comfortable with each other, having dated for nearly a year, there was less excitement and cutesy stuff, and more reliability and affection. Abby liked that she could exist without her boyfriend, and she hated that she passed judgement on Quinn, who clearly couldn't.

"I'll take it in the den,"

Abby told Kathie, as she stood and padded down the hallway toward the back staircase, past the pantries and into her father's coveted area- his home in his home for the rare times he was actually home. It was equipped with all of the latest technology, and her father was always shipping something back from his travels to be placed in his den. Abby lifted the phone from its receiver, collapsed against the doorframe and sighed before greeting Quinn.

"Quinn."

"Abby? You have to promise not to kill me."

Abby rolled her eyes at Quinn's dramatics- she'd received an equally as distressed call when Quinn had spilled mauve colored nail polish on a skirt she'd borrowed from Abby.

"Please, Quinn. Just cut to it."

"Olivia OD'd."

Abby raised her eyebrow as she stared at the last family portrait they'd all sat down for, the year Abby turned fourteen; her eyesight wavered slightly. Abby turned away from the portrait and tried to process the information.

"What? What do you mean she OD'd? Olivia Pope?"

"Yes, our friend, your best friend Olivia Pope OD'd. I was with Jake. We were driving back from getting ice for the party. We were two streets over from Olivia's and we heard the sirens. We crossed over and saw them putting her into the back of an ambulance."

"Fuck, Quinn. I'm on my way. What hospital is she at? Did you follow the ambulance?"

Quinn was silent a moment, before sniffing into the receiver, telling Abby that she must have been crying.

"I asked the paramedic, he said she's going to Jefferson. Don't be angry, I can't go. I'm drunk off my ass, and I'm freaking out. You should go. Just tell me how she is, okay?"

"Quinn, no one is going to bust you for having a few shots. Our best friend needs us right now. You haven't been her friend for weeks, but I know you still care about her."

"I do… but Abby. I can't go."

Abby wanted to run up to her room and get ready, but she didn't have the time, her patience was wearing thin, and she just wanted to get to her best friend.

"Can somebody grab my rain boots or something? Tennis shoes, I don't care! And my keys please!"

Abby called, pressing her hand to the receiver and coming back to the call to hear Quinn sobbing uncontrollably.

"I took some of what she took,"

Quinn confessed, her sobbing more than out of hand.

"What do you mean?"

Abby asked, as one of her housekeepers, Lila, brought her black rain boots and her keys.

"Thank you,"

Abby whispered as she returned to her call and tried to decipher Quinn's blabbering.

"Quinn, where are you?"

"I'm at Jake's. In the bathroom. I can't come with you, Abby. I can't. I'm high on the same pills that Olivia took and I'm drunk. If I go… I can't."

"I'm coming to get you. I can come in that bathroom and pull you up from the floor and throw you in my backseat, _or_ you can grow the fuck up and remember that this is not about you. It's about Olivia. Meet me outside in five or I'm coming inside."

When Abby arrived outside of Jake Ballard's house, the party Quinn had mentioned was still in full swing: their classmates littered his front yard, vegging on the grass or smoking weed. Abby's patience was past gone, and she was in a desperate frenzy to get to her best friend. Abby shut her engine off and jumped out of her car, racing past the stoners and into the front door of Jake's house. Abby found the stairs easily and set off to find Quinn at the first bathroom she came to. The door was bolted.

"Quinn! Get out here now!"

Abby continued to pound on the door after she'd received no response until an irritated and very intoxicated partygoer emerged from the bathroom. He shot Abby a look.

"There's no one in there." He informed, and pushed past Abby listlessly.

"Dick," Abby murmured and checked in the bathroom just for good measure. Turning around in the long hallway, Abby noticed that Jake's room was at the end of the hall, marked with the Jamaican flag. Abby rolled her eyes, but continued down the hall and pushed open the door.

"The whitest white boy ever would have the Jamaican flag on his damn door."

Abby yelled this at Quinn, who had mistakenly left a large portion of her chestnut hair visible in the dimly lit room from her hiding place under the bed.

"Get your stupid ass up, _please._ "

Quinn peeked out from under Jake's bed, unmoving. Abby dropped down to her hands and knees and grabbed one of Quinn's wrists and pulled, eliciting a strained groan from Quinn.

"Quinn I swear. Get up. No one knows about her but us. We need to get to the hospital. Stop being such a selfish cunt."

Abby's harsh words hit Quinn like a slap and a new wave of sobs broke out.

"Just leave me alone, Abby. I don't deserve to see her."

"Why the fuck not?"

"I _told_ Jake to give them to her. I'm the one that made this thing happen. It's my fault. I knew that she was stressed and I told Jake to give them to her."

Abby stared at Quinn's barely visible face in fury.

"Please, just come out from under there so we can go. We're wasting time."

"Go without me. You're wasting time, not me."

Abby stood, angry that she'd trekked through a band of sweaty, inebriated and scarcely dressed high school kids only to not even accomplish what she'd came there for. But dragging a nearly hysterical Quinn out from under the bed would be more time than she had to spare.

"She'll never forgive you for this," Abby threw to Quinn, though she couldn't see her anymore, she'd sunk deeper into the shadows.

"And neither will I."

xxx

The space about Olivia's bed was the only place she could bring herself to look: there was stark whiteness and nothing else. It was almost calming, and at that moment Olivia needed to be calm. She hadn't felt this stupid in her entire life, and if the unrelenting soreness in her throat and stomach was any indication, she'd never _been_ this stupid in her entire life. She wanted to sink into the sterile hospital bed and stay there forever; she'd gone looking for answers, but she hadn't liked what she'd discovered.

"You and I are going to fight, once you're strong enough to get this ass beating,"

Liv almost turned her head to address Abby, but she didn't. She'd been trying to get Liv to talk since she'd arrived a half hour ago, but Liv wasn't in the mood; she just wanted to be alone.

"In all seriousness. I need you to talk to me, Liv. Please. Just say something."

Liv felt her eyes burning with tears, they'd been forming since Abby had arrived, and finally they streamed down her face and stained her stiff hospital gown.

"Fine. I'll just keep talking to you."

Abby pulled a chair beside her bed, and took Olivia's hand, despite the contact, Olivia didn't release her rigid grip on the sheets.

"If you tried to kill yourself, you need to tell me."

Abby whispered to her, as if they were being overheard.

"They're going to come back in here and if they think you tried to kill yourself, they're going to take you away. Do you really want that? If you do, keep being catatonic, keep ignoring everyone and keep being quiet. Then they'll lock you up and throw away the key. You need to start talking. If not to me, then maybe to Fit-"

Olivia finally looked over to Abby sharply. "No. You can't tell Fitz."

Abby's smile was involuntary; simply at the sound of Olivia's voice.

"I already made a call… left a message with his housekeeper. He's probably on his way now. You had to know that I was going to call him… he's like your husband now."

Olivia bit her lip, worried. Had she really thought that she could be admitted into the hospital and Fitz would be none the wiser? No. Of course not. But she hadn't expected him to be notified as soon as he had been.

In a way, being in the hospital was like putting her life on 'pause'… she didn't need to be anything… she could just be. At school she was looked at as a model student- teachers called on her out of habit for explanations on things they hadn't even taught her yet. Her GPA, test scores and prize-winning essays were preached about in freshman orientation (she'd spoken at Chapel for the new school year for two years in a row.) The pressure was off her when she was there, in between those uniform sheets.

"I don't want him here, Abby. Please call him back and tell him that I need time alone."

xxx

Fitz swallowed the last of the wine they'd been served with dinner and looked down the table at Cece and Alyssa, who were speaking to one another in whispers. The dinner hadn't been as bad as it could have been; at least everyone kept an even tone the entire time. His father had drank more than his own weight in scotch, but that was not out of the ordinary. It seemed that their parents were trying to put aside their frustrations with Cece by being civil toward Alyssa. Either way, Fitz was relieved it was over, ending his forced family time.

"Are you two going to be alright if I duck out for a while?"

Fitz asked, having gotten to his feet and walked to the end of the dinner table. Alyssa and Cece pulled away from their conversation abruptly.

"Of course. Going to pick up Liv?"

Cece asked, gripping Alyssa's hand.

"Yeah, at least I'm going to stop by. She's been in the house all night, must be going stir-crazy."

"No problem. We'll see you later."

Fitz nodded. "Call me if you need me."

"Always do." Cece replied, turning her attention back to Alyssa.

Fitz grinned in response and made his way into the entryway of his house.

"Lucy!"

He called, searching both tables for his car keys, effectively lifting up every piece of mail that had been haphazardly strewn all over the table. The dinner had been somewhat of a stressful one for their staff, and they'd been scrambling since Fitz had gotten home from school. Fitz raised an exasperated eyebrow as Lucy walked in from the pantry area, wiping her hands on a towel at her hip.

"Fitzgerald? What do you need?"

Fitz pushed his hands in his pockets, knowing he hadn't left his keys in there, but figuring he should check.

"I put my keys on this table, I need to get over to Liv's I don't have time for hide and seek. Have you seen them?"

Lucy crossed her arms and didn't move toward Fitz. She stared at him seriously before shaking her head regrettably. Fitz crossed his arms over his chest as he realized that Lucy had something to do with his missing keys.

"You were in the middle of dinner. I wasn't going to interrupt."

Fitz's was in disbelief, he stepped closer to Lucy, trying to understand what she was saying.

"What do you mean, Lucy? What's going on?"

Lucy exhaled evenly, "The hospital called... There's been an accident."

Fitz felt the color drain from his cheeks; the slight warmth he'd felt from the half glass of wine he'd drank at dinner was gone. He knew what it was about, _who_ it was about; the bad feeling that had been growing in the pit of his stomach made sense now. Something was wrong with Olivia. Lucy watched Fitz's face as he reacted to her; he was in unbearable pain as he waited for Lucy to continue. His mind jumped to the worse possibilities as Lucy still hesitated to tell Fitz the truth.

"What kind of… accident?"

Fitz asked finally, when Lucy didn't answer his inquiry.

"Lucy! Goddammit, tell me where she is,"

Lucy crossed her arms, automatically ignoring Fitz's outburst and regarded him fondly, as though the tortured passion he was exhibiting was something she'd been waiting to emerge.

"I wanted to wait until I knew you could go without any questions."

Lucy answered Fitz a beat later, her smile weak, yet sincere. Her kind, dark brown eyes averted from Fitz's blue ones, as she lowered her head to pull Fitz's keys from her apron pocket.

"I'm sorry,"

Fitz apologized as he took his keys.

"I can't lose her,"

Fitz told Lucy, earnest to his core.

Lucy nodded, and craned her neck toward the door. "I know you can't. Go."

Fitz hugged Lucy tightly next, and quickly disappeared from the front entryway.

The door to Olivia's hospital room was closed, was that customary? Fitz didn't know, he'd only been in the hospital a handful of times, but rarely to visit anyone who was sick. His mother frowned upon young children in hospitals. Fitz hesitated, his hand nearly grasping the doorknob. What was he going to do? He couldn't know how seeing his beautiful girlfriend in a hospital bed would make him feel. He wanted to know he would be strong, he wanted to have a guarantee that no matter how she appeared, no matter how precarious the situation, he'd be able to keep it together. But he couldn't. He couldn't make himself know that, because it wasn't possible. He poured every ounce of emotion into her because she had none, she had a distinct coping mechanism, and she was very good at appearing to be okay. Even when Fitz held her, it was almost as if she was always a million miles away, swimming in her thoughts. Fitz couldn't protect her, he never could.

Once again his hand nearly took the metal colored doorknob, and once again he didn't allow himself to actually take hold of it.

If Abby hadn't thrown open the door in anger, he might never have opened it.

But she did, her carrot orange hair flying around her face as the door opened fully. Abby cast a backward glance at her, his girlfriend. She laid in the middle of a bed that seemed to swallow her up, and she peered at him with fearful, large eyes. She was nervous. Abby stepped back, crossing her arms.

"Come in,"

Abby commanded impatiently, snatching Fitz by his arm and pulling him into the room. Abby closed the door and collapsed against it, staring at Liv, urging her to speak with her eyes.

But, Liv didn't move, she continued to stare at Fitz, her hands gripped the sterile white bedsheets tightly.

"Livvie,"

Fitz finally uttered a moment later, after Liv's fearful stare had worn too much on his heart.

"Livvie,"

He whispered to her this time, slowly approaching her bed with his hands up and slightly outstretched, as if she had a gun on him.

"Can I, please?"

He asked, motioning to her bed. When she didn't answer, Fitz kicked his shoes off, abandoned his coat and climbed into bed with her, scooping her up into his arms and kissing the special spot below her ear that always made her relax. She was always so tense; Fitz had taken to reminding her, periodically throughout the day to breathe, to let her shoulders slump, to stop not letting herself relax. Fitz hated to think that his Livvie was always turning over her issues in her head; she never stopped thinking, she never let herself have a moment.

Despite herself, Olivia melted into Fitz, tears springing to her eyes automatically as he kissed her. Their lips meshed together, as Fitz's tears began to mingle with her own. She loved this, she loved him. And she wished that that was enough to take away her sadness, but it wasn't. His tenderness, his raw emotion made her feel loved and warm, but the moment that he left, or fell asleep, she was sad all over again. Olivia broke away from their kiss and buried her head in the crook of his neck.

"What happened, Livvie? What happened?"

She only shook her head, but Fitz kissed her on the forehead, trying to remind her that he was still there.

Though Fitz was acutely aware that Abby was still standing at the door, he continued his attempts to coax her into telling him what happened.

"My Dad."

Olivia finally told him, after he'd really given up hope of her speaking to him at all.

"What about your Dad?"

Fitz asked.

"He's not my Dad."

Olivia muttered. "He told me so."

Fitz turned to cast a glance to Abby, who shrugged and crossed her arms uncomfortably.

"I don't really know what's going on,"

Abby insisted warily, a moment later after Fitz's stare toward her did not relent.

"She was barely talking to me before you got here… I thought maybe…"

Abby bit her lip as she stopped speaking abruptly.

Fitz looked away from Abby finally and stared down at Olivia. His throat began to thicken as tears welled in his eyes again. Swallowing became difficult as the question that would change everything was on the tip of his tongue.

"Abby? Can we have a second?"

Before the question had really left his lips, Abby was gone, scurrying out of Olivia's room with haste.

Fitz turned back to Olivia, getting down in the dip of the bed with her and scooping her up once again.

"Please tell me you didn't try to kill yourself,"

Fitz pleaded, stroking her curly hair; he remembered one of the times she'd stayed at his house, and they decided to shower together. Livvie had been nervous about it, and Fitz couldn't understand why. She'd stepped into the spacious shower that was in the adjoined bathroom. With tentative steps, she held her arms out for Fitz, and closed her eyes as she dipped her head under the water, her spiral curls sagging immediately, and then being taken over by the warm water. Looking up at Fitz with large, apprehensive eyes, she shook her mass of wet hair out and grinned as Fitz stared at her in wonder.

"I'm sorry,"

Olivia apologized, squeezing Fitz's arm for emphasis.

"Why are you sorry?"

Fitz asked, kissing her cheek as they pressed their bodies together under the stream of water.

"I underestimated you."

"Wouldn't be the first time."

Fitz mused, a smile tugging at his lips. He started at run his fingers through Olivia's hair, which was now a wet, slightly curly mop, but stopped and silently asked permission.

Biting her lip, Olivia took his hands and led them into her hair, smiling as she felt his careful fingers roving her hair.

"You're… amazing."

He'd uttered, holding her tightly as Olivia's hair continued to curl in the swirling steam.

"Livvie?"

Olivia looked away, she felt herself trembling as she recalled what had landed her in the hospital. The Xanax she'd taken had made her unsteady, but she'd ignored this, and took several more of the pills. Once she'd been able to pull herself away from the supposed first picture of her family, she'd slipped, and collided with the edge of the hall table. But she couldn't tell Fitz that. Sure, Fitz smoked, but his smoking had never landed him in the hospital. She was afraid of what he'd think of her… she disliked herself so much already, she couldn't even think of Fitz feeling the same way.

xxx

The waiting room was decked out in orange and brown furnishings, heavy orange curtains and uncomfortable brown loveseats and upholstered chairs. Abby sat in the far corner near the window, bouncing her crossed leg and twirling one carrot orange lock around her index finger. She looked up at the cube TV in a mount on the other far corner of the room; the news was on. Why was it that hospitals always found it a good idea to depress people more? Abby continued to twirl her hair as she tried to calm the panicky feeling that rose in her chest. Every now and then, a nurse or visitor would mistakenly enter the spacious room, and quickly realize that they were in the wrong place. Since Abby had been sitting there, this had happened several times. But Jake Ballard was not in the room by mistake, he strode in and smiled, holding out his arms for Abby as if they were friends.

"Jake,"

Abby hissed, hopping up and rounding on Jake immediately; she'd been trying to control her anger towards Quinn since it blossomed, as she made herself remember that at one time they were friends. However, Jake warranted none of that regard, Abby got as close to him as she could without wanting to swing on him.

"Who do you think you are exactly?"

Abby demanded, her voice slightly strained.

"I came to see Olivia, is she around?"

Jake almost smirked, clearly enjoying Abby's anger.

"Not for you. What do you need, Jake?"

"I heard from Quinn that she OD'd. Just needed confirmation."

Abby nearly clawed his eyes out, but she kept her calm for the sake of Olivia; if she heard that Abby fought Jake Ballard in the waiting room, she would be none too pleased.

"You need to go, she's not going to see you."

Jake smirked and stepped back from Abby, running his index finger across his lower lip in appraisal.

"This is ironic,"

He commented a moment later, his casualness leaving Abby fuming. She'd only left the room because Fitz asked her to. Had it been Olivia requesting this, she would have ignored her, but, as much as Abby hated to admit it, if anyone could get to the bottom of the situation, it was him.

When Abby didn't inquire further about Jake's words, he pressed on.

"Olivia the Great. Perfect Pope. She has so many nicknames, but they all mean the same thing. She's perfect. Except she's not."

Abby started to walk away, not wanting to entertain Jake further. Her best friend was lying in a hospital bed, and Jake was talking to her about her reputation? As Abby attempted to pass him, Jake snatched her arm and pulled her close to him. Abby froze as he made rough physical contact with her, she stared at him incredulously. Jake's casual as-a-matter-of-fact attitude disintegrated before her eyes and was replaced with a darker visage.

"I gave Olivia those pills. I know that's why she's in here. I can make her life hell."

Abby pulled out of Jake's hold, nearly hitting herself in the face as her arm caught momentum once released from his grasp.

Jake stepped back from Abby and ran his hands through his hair, his calm was becoming distant.

"What did you just set her up? Give her those pills so that you could expose her as a human being?"

Abby demanded to know, careful not to get in Jake's face again. But Jake only shrugged coolly.

"Wasn't a definitive plan, but everything happens for a reason."

A beat passed as Abby stared at Jake, desperately wanting to hit him, not even for her, but for Olivia. But Jake didn't give her more opportunity to talk, instead he nodded at Abby, and left the waiting room. While Abby doubted Jake could do any real damage, she knew that his interest in Olivia's unraveling would only worsen her recovery.

xxx

 _"_ _Watch me, Mommy!"_

 _Maya Pope turned her head to acknowledge her small daughter, Olivia's escapades. Maya smiled at Olivia warmly as she struggled in her puffy coat to climb up the stairs of the largest jungle gym on the playground. Olivia had just begun gymnastics in the spring, Maya had gotten her involved- the monkey bars had always been Olivia's favorite._

 _Olivia waited her turn as another young boy clung to the third monkey bar, before finally releasing himself to the not-too-distant play mat._

 _Olivia began her journey across the bars, her thick knit wool cap partially obscuring her curly hair._

 _"_ _She's getting so gorgeous."_

 _Maya reluctantly pulled her eyes from Olivia, who was thankfully absorbed in her task. She looked up at him, she'd known he was coming, and yet his presence always seemed to disturb her._

 _"_ _She is."_

 _Maya finally agreed, squinting at him as the low winter sun outlined him._

 _"_ _Does her Dad know?"_

 _Maya narrowed her eyes at him._

 _"_ _That he's her Dad? Yes, he knows. I told him."_

 _"_ _That was a close call. I almost disrupted your familial bliss."_

 _"_ _Yes, almost. Thank God that crisis was averted."_

 _"_ _Did you… Never mind."_

 _"_ _Never mind what?"_

 _Maya sat up, casting a glance behind her to see Olivia dismounting and running toward her. Without hesitation, Maya scooped Olivia up and kissed her forehead._

 _"_ _Mommy! Did you see me?"_

 _Maya beamed at Olivia and squeezed her playfully._

 _"_ _Yes I did, baby girl. You were great. You're going to do so well in class tomorrow."_

 _Olivia was mollified, and Maya returned her attention to him._

 _"_ _Sam?"_

 _Maya asked slowly, wanting him to finish his question._

 _But, he only smiled at Olivia kindly._

 _"_ _You're going to be so smart, I can tell."_

 _He told this to Olivia, who looked at him curiously as she held onto her mother's coat._

 _"_ _Congrats, Maya. I hope you have everything you ever wanted."_

 _Maya watched him go, holding onto Olivia tightly._

 _"_ _Who was that?"_

 _Olivia asked curiously._

 _"_ _Nobody, baby."_

 _Maya answered stiffly._

 _"_ _Why don't you have another turn on the monkey bars before we leave?"_

 _Olivia nodded eagerly and jumped down from Maya's lap, scrambling back over to the jungle gym._

 _His comment sat with her as she watched her daughter play, and suddenly she knew his question, though he'd never finished asking it._

 _Did she want Olivia to be his?_

 _She knew her answer, but as she watched her daughter skillfully swing from bar to bar, she knew that what she wanted didn't really matter._

 _Some things were just meant to be, and some things weren't._

xxx

Dear NT readers,

Above everything else, I am thankful. I am thankful for my writing abilities, and I am thankful that occasionally, I am able to sit down and do nothing but write. However, lately I have been in a sort of slump where my writing was concerned. I had no drive to write, no motivation and I was simply stuck in the plots I'd created. I've been receiving extensive criticism for my updating schedule, but I try not to let that get to me. I am a busy, overworked and overstressed college student, like I'm sure many of my readers are (or were.) While I am grateful for the readers that enjoy my writing, I have to take my own emotions and time into consideration. I've simply had no motivation to write or to do much of anything. Thankfully, those slumps never last long (too long, anyway) and I am back with another update! Hopefully I still have some readers out there who aren't irritated with me!

But, to the chapter: I decided to omit the aforementioned Olitz fight. Everything else I kept pretty in tune with my last Author's note.

Now the question is: Did Olivia try to kill herself?

If you've been reading thus far, the answer shouldn't be too hard to uncover. Olivia's character is in transition right now as some of the things she thought she knew are being tested.

However, one large question has been answered: Who is Olivia's father? Jackson Pope! Yes, according to the flashback at the end of this chapter, there was some doubt of paternity on Maya's end, but ultimately, Olivia's father is not the mysterious Samuel, but her good old Dad Jackson.

We also had Abby's badassery to root for in this chapter (a trend that will be continued) and Jake pops up again to be antagonistic. Perhaps the hardest thing to write was Fitz's reaction to Olivia being hurt. Though we only got small doses of them together in this chapter, their emotional output was high. Whatever Olivia's motivations, they will hurt Fitz, so be prepared.

Next chapter the promised fight will ensue, and Abby will save the day (again). Papa Pope is going to be heavily discussed, and possibly seen.

Thanks for sticking with me and for reading, as always.

Avis xoxo


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